When 'Titanic' came out on VHS, I was working at a Sam's Club, which is already the worst. I don't know what you know about working for the Walton family, but it's horrific. — Chris Cubas Copy Share Image
I felt like I couldn't meet a single rich person. Regardless of where I live, they don't want to talk to me. I threw… — Chris Cubas Copy Share Image
Kansas City, well, part of the town's pretty cool, and part of the town is not. But it's gonna be that way no matter… — Chris Cubas Copy Share Image
Everybody wants to be Doug Stanhope; everybody wants to be Bill Hicks - and those are great people to aim for, but they had… — Chris Cubas Copy Share Image
I was living in upstate New York, in Kingston - small town, no comedy scene except for my friends and I doing these DIY… — Chris Cubas Copy Share Image
I don't know a single person that's like, ''Avatar' is my favorite movie.' It never even comes up. I don't know anyone that will… — Chris Cubas Copy Share Image
Put me on the Food Network - I'll be the funniest guy talking about food. I don't care. — Chris Cubas Copy Share Image
The flat-out worst movie I've ever seen has to be Uwe Boll's 'Rampage.' — Chris Cubas Copy Share Image
I wanna be funny, but if I have a chance to make a point while being funny - why not? — Chris Cubas Copy Share Image
If you have any sense, if you're any good at comedy, you come to Austin. — Chris Cubas Copy Share Image
It's weird writing for a documentary because I have all these ideas for what I want to happen, but what actually happens is obviously… — Chris Cubas Copy Share Image
The holy grail for me is just stand-up - It's always been that. If I can just tour and headline in stand-up, that's the… — Chris Cubas Copy Share Image
