Current experiment: How much wine does it take for me to forget that tomorrow is Monday? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I relish the fact that you've mustard the strength to ketchup to me. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
BLOODY HELL FUCKING SHIT GOD DAMNIT I RIPPED MY KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON POSTER! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
As I was filling up my gas tank I realized I didn't want to eat this week anyways. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A dentist and a manicurist married. .. . . They fought tooth and nail. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I'll call it a smart phone the day I yell, Wheres my freaking phone?! and it answers, Im here! Under your jacket! — Azgraybebly Joslan Copy Share Image
She is currently giving me silent treatment just because I didn't write happy birthday on her Facebook wall. Like I give a… — Don Kel Copy Share Image
If Shakespeare would have Facebook.. It would be like: Juliet is in a relationship and its complicated.. And guess who would be… — Kand3n Copy Share Image
The awkward moment when an ex-boyfriend tries to add you on Facebook. (After being previously deleted.) — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I find it weird to see .99cent burgers and $4.99 for a salad, and they say why is America an obese country???… — Osvaldo M Copy Share Image
I hate when a girl can't take a compliment: You're so pretty No I'm not, I'm ugly WELL.. YOU UGLY THEN, DAMN… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Jon's mother had three kids named Penny, Nickel and __????__. You'll be amazed how many people get this wrong. — Justin Mccloskey Copy Share Image
If you've got a problem with me, tell me. Don't go putting it around on Facebook and then expect me to know… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If one begins to look for love, he will find it. If he puts any conditions on love, there will be obstacles.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The one thing I absolutely hate about social media are the people who abuse it. Whenever I see a person who constantly… — Jazmin Garcia Copy Share Image
I was mad a little while ago, but then I relized why? Why be mad ova something I can't control? Fact, if… — Kevin McCarty Copy Share Image
Douche: hey Girl: Douche: HEY Girl: What? Douche: you know, there should be a warning sign on my dick Girl: Excuse me?… — Ella Rojas Copy Share Image
Halloween is getting stupid, hardly anyone dresses up as something scary & all the ladies go out looking like sluts. I guess… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Life kicks you around sometimes. It scares you and it beats you up. But there is one day when you realize youre… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
In life we are given mountains to climb. Although the speed at which we climb these mountains and the length of time… — David DtK Smith Copy Share Image
Look Ladies… Some of y'all want a man who will always treat you like a queen. And it seems that every man… — Bryan Burden Copy Share Image
