Facebook status Quotes by Nikhil Saluja · Page 7

Sex that goes on for ever - Saga

— Nikhil Saluja

Aardvark: AARDVARK never hurt anyone

— Nikhil Saluja

If you want a Romeo start acting like a Juliet.

— Nikhil Saluja

It's really so hard to talk with girls after you masturbate.

— Nikhil Saluja

I should be ashamed of yourself.

— Nikhil Saluja

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

— Nikhil Saluja

Mosquito: The only insect that makes you prefer flies.

— Nikhil Saluja

The guy who stabbed himself with an icicle died of cold cuts.

— Nikhil Saluja

Lipstick (lip*stik) n. -- On your lips, color to enhance your beauty. On his collar, color only a tramp would wear!

— Nikhil Saluja

Well, crying isn't gonna bring him back, unless your tears smell like dog food.

— Nikhil Saluja

Twitter: Where people bitch for everyone's attention and validation from strangers.

— Nikhil Saluja

For all my haters, I just want you to know that there's no medicine for insecurities so better commit suicide!

— Nikhil Saluja

In some countries being president is just an honorary position --like being a husband in Hollywood.

— Nikhil Saluja

The blonde cowboy put glue on his six-shooters so he would always stick to his guns.

— Nikhil Saluja

Gasp Reflex : The reaction of a new father when he sees the new mother's breasts.

— Nikhil Saluja

Now, Marge, don't discourage the boy. Weaseling out of things is what separates us from the animals. Except the weasel.

— Nikhil Saluja

A bicycle can't stand alone; . . . it is two tired.

— Nikhil Saluja

Bingo! I love that game, but I can't remember what to say when you win.

— Nikhil Saluja

To feel good about yourself, is there a quota on how many other people each day you have to condemn?

— Nikhil Saluja

Sweetie, if you opened a book more times than you opened your legs,you might actually get somewhere in life.

— Nikhil Saluja

Exercise (ex*er*siz) v. -- To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase.

— Nikhil Saluja

Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada: Self-preserving, but open to meeting new people.

— Nikhil Saluja

God made woman and the other day he made beer because he was like holy fuck, sorry bro.

— Nikhil Saluja

I think the most impressive thing about the activity tab on twitter is that I never use it.

— Nikhil Saluja

My mind is now so crowded with valuable information that I can't think.

— Nikhil Saluja

I named my first born child after my mother-in-law. In fact, lazy fat ass bitch turns 5 tomorrow.

— Nikhil Saluja

I drove my expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends.

— Nikhil Saluja

Fancy restaurant: The only restaurant that serves you cold soup on purpose.

— Nikhil Saluja

Don't Take It Seriously * When the HAIRDRESSER says, Do you want it teased or blown?

— Nikhil Saluja

Ladies, you are delusional if you think you can give me a hand job better than I can.

— Nikhil Saluja

John Deere's manure spreader is the only equipment the company won't stand behind.

— Nikhil Saluja

If her husband walks in while you're fucking her... ask him to join. You're already fucked anyways...

— Nikhil Saluja

If someone stole your tweet just write 50 more tweets or have them murdered. Simple.

— Nikhil Saluja

Astronaut restaurant review from the moon: The food is fine but there's not much atmosphere.

— Nikhil Saluja

If the loser keeps his smile, the winner will loose the thrill of victory.

— Nikhil Saluja

If you never try, then you'll never know just what you're worth.

— Nikhil Saluja

Mostly all famous inventions start off as an accidents. For instance, my invention of running over cats.

— Nikhil Saluja

If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, then we can be good friends.

— Nikhil Saluja

Dudes need to stop saying 'Money over bitches' when they get neither.

— Nikhil Saluja

Thinking of punching these random street people in the face is an excellent way to waste an evening.

— Nikhil Saluja