Actual warning printed on the bottom of a package of Tesco's Tiramisu dessert : Do not turn upside down. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When I die I want to be be reincarnated as a Lizard. Just so I can finally hear a women say Oh… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Or what? You'll release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouth and when they bark they… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Prefix: What a man does just before his wife calls the plumber. Or electrician, mechanic ... — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I've been banging my head against this wall for hours trying to figure out where all this blood is coming from! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
It's only happy hour if a hot girl is sharing your drinks. Otherwise it's just drowning your misery. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Assumptions are those things we make when we are too lazy to check out the facts. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
With $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like... love! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make my fav cake for me, and I learned that the little things… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Oh no! What have I done? I smashed open my little boy's piggy bank, and for what? A few measly cents, not… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you give of your time and money to help people who had nothing, and… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
There's just something wonderful about a cold, clear winter morning that makes you want to slow down and take time to stop… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Well, let's just call them, uh, Mr. X and Mrs. Y. So anyway, Mr. X would say, 'Marge, if this doesn't get… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
5% of all hearing loss is a result of sitting in a restaurant next to a table full of women who just… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you hang my first painting on the refrigerator, and I immediately wanted to paint… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
After 70, a woman is like Tibet: Beautiful, with a mysterious past andthe wisdom of the ages. An adventurous spirit and a… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sometimes I look at my awesome twitter followers & think to myself, What the hell would I do without them :) — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
I won't be tweeting this sunday. I have better things to do like bashing myself by following girls on streets. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
Men and women shop differently. Men know what they want before they see it. Women don't know what they want until they see it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
I used to receive virtual smiles, sweet morning and night greetings. Now all I have is silence, and a blistered heart. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
Do girls really look at penises and say Wow, I can't wait to put that in my mouth? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
