Whenever I get a new calender, I flip straight to my birthday month to see which picture I got. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Why I try samples at stores: 5% Im thinking of buying the product 95% I want free food — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Daydreaming while you're reading, then having to re-read what you just read. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I don't care what the expiration date says, I'm smelling the milk before I drink it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I hate driving behind log trucks, all I can think about is Final Destination... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Driving to work playing the 'Let's see how long I can drive with my gas light on.' game. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you wait for a text but then you realize you're the one who didn't reply. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The awkward moment when the ticket vendor says, 'Enjoy your movie.' and then you say, 'You too!' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If climbing the highest mountain on earth is the only way for him to be mine.. then I'd rather go shopping! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Why are there never any good side effects? Just once I'd like to see a drug commercial that says, 'May cause extreme… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Don't ever say you're not good enough. If that person can't see how amazing you are, then they're the one who's not… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I don't understand those couples that fight and then a minute later change their Facebook status to 'Single.' I fight with my… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Why is it that Facebook even gives me the option to 'Like' my own status? Of course I like my status. I'm… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm starting to think that the gym isn't really for me. I went this morning and laid down on the mat to… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If the people in horror movies listened to me they would probably still be alive. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I hate when I think Ive found a parking space, only for it to turn out to be a cart corral. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
All desirable things in life are either banned, expensive, illegal or married to someone else. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Teacher: Come on! You learned this in 3rd grade! Me: I can't remember what I ate for breakfast. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
5 Rules of happiness 1. Don't Hate 2. Don't Worry 3. Give More 4. Expect Less 5. Live Simply. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Use your smile to change this world. Don't let this world change your smile — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Something is wrong with our government when I see people using food stamps and an iPhone. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
We all have that one friend with the hot sister everyone wants to get with. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dont you hate when the person youre Facebook-stalking never updates anything. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I hate waiting the entire week to watch the next episode of my favorite show. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Choose a guy who takes you to his house to meet his parents, not his bedroom. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Roses are red, Facebook is blue. Mutual friends are great, but who the f*ck are you? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Words of Wisdom: it's easier to change a condom than it is to change a diaper. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Few things anger me more than having a song stuck in my head that I don't know the lyrics to. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sometimes the storm's not only make us stronger…but they bring us closer together — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When you're putting on jeans with holes and your foot goes through the hole. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share
Distance is a test of love. many will fail for those who can't withstand it, but for those who can, theres only one answer… — Anonymous Copy Share
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share
The truth is, of course, that the curtness of the Ten Commandments is an evidence, not of the gloom and narrowness of a religion,… — Anonymous Copy Share
