Insomniacs will be familiar with that disastrous moment as you lie there in the dark, with your eyes shut, when you think, 'What does my brain actually have to do to make me become asleep? What is the difference between… — Victoria Coren Mitchell Copy Share Image
Nature made your eyebrows like that for a reason. I don't know the reason. Some people say it's to do with keeping rain out of monkeys' eyes. Whatever. The point is, if you try to redesign your eyebrows with tweezers… — Victoria Coren Mitchell Copy Share Image
Makeup is only fun if it's occasional and capricious - just like it's a treat to have an empty day ahead, but it wouldn't… — Victoria Coren Mitchell Copy Share Image
If you are actually ordinary, the only way to give royal status meaning is to live an extraordinary life. It can't be jeans and… — Victoria Coren Mitchell Copy Share Image
Women are under-represented in TV comedy for a variety of reasons, the hackneyed 'fear that women aren't funny' being one of them. — Victoria Coren Mitchell Copy Share Image
My speeding offences (whether caught or not) are always in situations where the speed limit is 30, but I think it's 40. And I'm… — Victoria Coren Mitchell Copy Share Image
When I was learning to drive, I thought the big milestones were changing gear, changing lane, and three-point-turns. — Victoria Coren Mitchell Copy Share Image
I know schools don't have money for everything, but I wish they could all have a couple of violins for kids to try; a… — Victoria Coren Mitchell Copy Share Image
When I was 15, I still liked climbing trees and hiding in cupboards. — Victoria Coren Mitchell Copy Share Image
Given the choice, I'm sure the majority of children would rather have a packed lunch than school meals. — Victoria Coren Mitchell Copy Share Image
London Zoo is amazing. I want to take my child there so that she can feel the awe and wonder I felt (and feel)… — Victoria Coren Mitchell Copy Share Image
Moisturise, moisturise, moisturise... is the motto of people who are in the business of selling moisturisers. Your body is already 60% water. If that's… — Victoria Coren Mitchell Copy Share Image
Weight gain is good because it makes your dresses tight. This is not necessarily classy or flattering, but it means you don't have to… — Victoria Coren Mitchell Copy Share Image
