“A customer facing crucial decisions: What should I wipe myself with? What should I brush with? His personal hygiene was deteriorating rapidly as he stared at the rows of possibilities, sweating profusely. Would he ever bathe again?” — Benson Bruno Copy Share Image
“I don’t dwell on the fact that I may have ridden on planes. That which I can’t remember having needed, I simply accept. It… — Benson Bruno Copy Share Image
“Frosting was his favorite. He liked to eat doughnuts at every meal. Because it was healthier to eat six small meals a day than… — Benson Bruno Copy Share Image
Selfishness is a bad habit. Thats why I always rationally think through my decisions to act without regard for others. — Benson Bruno Copy Share Image
People who practice freedom of expression are terrorizing our grammatical way of life. — Benson Bruno Copy Share Image
“That streetside tree is obscuring the air. Cut it down. Haul it in for questioning. There are secrets within that foliage. You might want… — Benson Bruno Copy Share Image
“What do you take me for? That fool Socrates, who upheld the law at the cost of his own death – just to be… — Benson Bruno Copy Share Image
“Dear sirs, The cold war isn’t over. When national borders fail, the epidermis is the last line of defense. We are counting on you.… — Benson Bruno Copy Share Image
“Just this past summer, I took online courses in introductory logic and law through civilization. Often the weight of history, with its facts heaped… — Benson Bruno Copy Share Image
Always be nice to people to their face. Then when they turn around, berate the back of their head. — Benson Bruno Copy Share Image
“The x-ray of your skull shows a large, flobby mass floating inside. I have to consult my colleagues to be certain, but it looks… — Benson Bruno Copy Share Image
“Do you remember our first kiss? I do. Not a day goes by I don’t think of the feel of that bicuspid against my… — Benson Bruno Copy Share Image
“Especially well known around the office is my weakness for dyspareunist women. Most people would find such disparity in unity repelling, but it harmonizes… — Benson Bruno Copy Share Image
