Condoms will break, but I can assure you that vows of abstinence will break more easily than condoms. — Joycelyn Elders Copy Share Image
Things that probably shouldn't be broken: 1. Hearts 2. Promises 3. Condoms — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear Boys who say condoms are uncomfortable, I've heard giving birth is pretty uncomfortable too — Miranda H Copy Share Image
“ It's not enough just to buy condoms, Cassidy; you have to use them. ” — Karen Marie Moning Copy Share Image
WHENM LIFE BRINGS YA CONDOMS WHY NOT PUT THEM ON ALL THE DICK HEADS OUT THERE — Jessie Riley Copy Share Image
“Expired condoms are like nuclear waste: there's nothing sensible you can do with it.” — Andrew Smith Copy Share Image
IPhone covers are like condoms; you don't want to, but you kind of have to. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Then he would get into a plane and leave the field wide open; the field was crammed with paralegals, all of them… — Lydia Millet Copy Share Image
“Here are condoms lined with a topical anesthetic for prolonged action. What a paradox. You don't feel a thing, but you can… — Chuck Palahniuk Copy Share Image
“Carter?” Gordo asked. “Who is he? I want to meet him. In my office so I can scare the shit out of… — T.J. Klune Copy Share Image
At the store buying 50 condoms. 2 girls behind me started laughing. I turned around and looked them in the eyes and… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Foster Mom: “Hm, hm, you’d be surprised, these little kids be out here fucking. ’Cause you know the last one you had… — Tiffany Haddish Copy Share Image
We are still not in the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame but there are 3,000 Kiss products, a Kiss musical toothbrush,… — Paul Stanley Copy Share Image
“Just do me a solid and keep condoms in your purse. Just in case.” “That doesn’t help me keep my legs closed… — Kristen Proby Copy Share Image
Dont always buy a box of condoms whenever you with her, buy her teddy bear, chocolate or actual gift. Matured ladies appretiates… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“One day, while at the drugstore picking up some aspirin for my Mom, dear old Mrs. Burns, our pharmacist, shoved a pack… — Ramona Wray Copy Share Image
*Buying condoms* Cashier: Would you like a bag with that? Me: No thanks... She's not that ugly. — Francis Copy Share Image
“The human population would probably be way less than a thousand, if ejaculation were not usually accompanied by an orgasm.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
Sex without condoms is magical… A baby appears & the father disappears. — Omar Valenzuela Copy Share Image
“Nowadays, you can do anything that you want—anal, oral, fisting—but you need to be wearing gloves, condoms, protection.” — Slavoj Žižek Copy Share Image
I just saved a whole bunch of money on my child support by switching to condoms. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Condoms aren't completely safe. A friend of mine was wearing one and got hit by a bus. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear guys who say condoms are uncomfortable, I've heard giving birth is pretty uncomfortable too... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Some men send me condoms and underpants. I'm not sure what they want. — Martine McCutcheon Copy Share Image
Don't throw me teddy-bears, I'm 23! I'm a man! Throw me condoms or money! Paper, not coins. — Robbie Williams Copy Share Image
“I need to go to the store and pick up some condoms. But first I need to pick up some women.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
Condoms are like women...most of the time they're pretty annoying, but you need them to get laid. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
What if condoms worked 100% of the time, periodes never came, and chololate never ran out — Kenzie-ann Copy Share Image
“I'm gonna need a strap-on, a dildo, some lube, condoms, and more of that tequila.” — Kendall Grey Copy Share Image
Today I'm poking holes in condoms and passing them out at Wal-Mart. Happy Friday the 13th. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“To some believers, being on the pill or using a condom is a nonverbal way of telling God to go to hell.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
Too many kids think condoms are nasty and vulgar, instead of as something that can save your life. — Lisa Lopes Copy Share Image
You know you're in love when you wear condoms while having sex with other women. — Owen Wilson Copy Share Image
Poking holes in your parents condoms so there's someone else to do the dishes. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Wrestling is very similar to gay sex, but you don't have to wear condoms. — Jack Barakat Copy Share Image
“Tink’s little pink dildo, Rache! Haven’t you gotten rid of those condoms yet? They got a shelf life, you know.” — Kim Harrison Copy Share Image
Dear men why do yall wear condoms that are too big, Im going to find out anyway — Treneice716 Copy Share Image
