Bits are fake conversations comedians have because they are uncomfortable being vulnerable with other human beings in any way. — Chris Gethard Copy Share Image
My medications make me easier to deal with. They don't interfere with my creativity or turn me into a zombie or dull my real… — Chris Gethard Copy Share Image
I didn't like who I was. I spent a lot of my life regretting who I was, which is a sad thing to say. — Chris Gethard Copy Share Image
We don't judge people for dying in car crashes. But we do judge people when they die of suicide. — Chris Gethard Copy Share Image
If you are dating someone in New York City, and they invite you over to watch a movie, they don't really want to watch… — Chris Gethard Copy Share Image
I think, in my own life, I'm pretty political. I think I have some very strong ideals, and I struggle a lot with it.… — Chris Gethard Copy Share Image
The street I lived on for the first handful of years of my life was lined with modest, lower-middle-class houses with small front yards… — Chris Gethard Copy Share Image
I'm not exactly Don Draper when it comes to physical attractiveness. — Chris Gethard Copy Share Image
I am a stereotypical northeasterner. I'm always in a rush. I've attracted stares from out-of-towners when I've shoved past someone blocking the subway door. — Chris Gethard Copy Share Image
There are many hundreds of millions of people who have jobs harder than (mine), and I also remind myself of that every day. No… — Chris Gethard Copy Share Image
If I could have enough money that I know I could buy a house someday, and if I want to have kids, I could… — Chris Gethard Copy Share Image
Northern New Jersey looks like a cluster of idyllic suburbs, but each of those seemingly normal towns has a dark side that's constantly gossiped… — Chris Gethard Copy Share Image
