“For example, if she joined the book club — there was always a book club — and hung out with them, her choice of guys would be limited to the dark and moody Chuck Palahniuk/Kurt Vonnegut/Life-Sucks-and-Then-You-Die brooders.” — Pete Hautman Copy Share Image
“Murphy's face went through several mutations as he spoke, as if small animals were scurrying about just beneath his skin.” — Pete Hautman Copy Share Image
“Dear Miz Fitz, My boyfriend is superhot so a lot of girls think up reasons to talk to him. It drives me... ...Out of… — Pete Hautman Copy Share Image
We connect through our dreams. Like we could be a thousand miles apart and I'd still know you were there. — Pete Hautman Copy Share Image
“People in groups are like sheep. Like, when your very best friend is surrounded by other people, she cares more about what everybody else thinks that she cares about you. The more people there are, the more they act like animals. "That doesn't make sense." "Sure it does. Have you ever heard of two guys getting in a fistfight when… — Pete Hautman Copy Share
“Guys have four personalities: the one they use with their parents, the one they use around other adults, the one they use for talking… — Pete Hautman Copy Share Image
“Do they really think that attending mass will make them better, or happier, or save them from an eternity of hellfire? Maybe they do. But there are something like ten thousand religions in the world. What makes them think that they happen to have been born into the right one? I have asked this question several times. So far, I… — Pete Hautman Copy Share
Later it might see moronic, but at that time it all made perfect sense. — Pete Hautman Copy Share Image
“He's kinda shy. Maybe I should ask him out." "I think it's more traditional for you to trick him into asking you out. That… — Pete Hautman Copy Share Image
“...TV was entertainment of the last resort. There was nothing on during the day in the summer other than game shows and soap operas. Besides, a TV-watching child was considered available for chores: take out the trash, clean your room, pick up that mess, fold those towels, mow the lawn... the list was endless. We all became adept at chore-avoidance.… — Pete Hautman Copy Share
