You might be a redneck if your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered. — Phyllis Diller Copy Share Image
Can I keep you forever? You are the Christmas present that I never want to lose. Merry Christmas my beloved. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The ideal Christmas gift is money, but the trouble is you can't charge it. — Bill Vaughan Copy Share Image
Christmas gift suggestions: To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. — Oren Arnold Copy Share Image
I just saved a ton of money on Christmas presents by discussing politics on Facebook. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My grandfather built a basketball court for me when I was 3 years old as a Christmas present, and I would go… — Baron Davis Copy Share Image
If you don't make Christmas presents, meaning making something that's so emotionally connected to people, don't talk to me. — Kanye West Copy Share Image
Chum was a British boy's weekly which, at the end of the year was bound into a single huge book; and the… — A. E. van Vogt Copy Share Image
You know what, sometimes Ill walk my dogs and full bags full of massive dog s**t. Then Ill wrap them as Christmas… — Kesha Copy Share Image
Grandchildren now don't write a thank you for the Christmas presents. They are walking on their pants with their cap on backward,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The magi, as you know, were wise men wonderfully wise men who brought gifts to the Babe in the manger. They invented… — O. Henry Copy Share Image
“Creed looks like Santa barfed Christmas presents in his lap (excited and disturbed all at the same time, natch).” — T.J. Klune Copy Share Image
“As his life steadily unraveled, he pawned his gold watch and chain for $20 on December 23, 1857, to purchase Christmas presents… — Ron Chernow Copy Share Image
I hated that the soldier doll had my name. I mean, please. I didn't play with him much. He was another Christmas… — James Howe Copy Share Image
It is surprising that people are snapping photos and stuff and then putting them on the internet. For me, it is like,… — Michael Shannon Copy Share Image
For a while I wanted to be a professional baseball pitcher, and then I wanted to be a musician and then sometimes… — John Malkovich Copy Share Image
“I'd felt obligated to get Ian a Christmas present. A chunk of coal sat in a brightly wrapped box under the tree,… — Jeaniene Frost Copy Share Image
“Weren't you wearing a purity ring when we got here? Aren't you supposed to be saving yourself?" Shanti asked. "Yeah," Mary Lou… — Libba Bray Copy Share Image
“I'll give you your Christmas present now if you'll give me mine." I shook my head. "At breakfast." "But it's Christmas now."… — Dashiell Hammett Copy Share Image
My grandmother adopted me for a while, and I was bouncing around a bit. I was always helped by the PTA and… — Bobby Bones Copy Share Image
One Christmas I had no money, and so I went home and just, like, wrote a poem; I mean, I didn't write… — June Diane Raphael Copy Share Image
“You can all supply your own favorite, most nauseating examples of the commodification of love. Mine include the wedding industry, TV ads… — Jonathan Franzen Copy Share Image
I hear that in many places something has happened to Christmas; that it is changing from a time of merriment and carefree… — Julia Peterkin Copy Share Image
“If I love you, I will carry for you all your pain, I will assume for you all your debts (in every… — Elizabeth Gilbert Copy Share Image
“We love Christmas presents but not Christ; Easter baskets but not crosses. We want to tell our friends with cancer that we… — Heather Choate Davis Copy Share Image
“The only problem with sharing a room with her sisters, Jessie decided, was that she couldn’t wrap their Christmas presents in there.… — Kate Willis Copy Share Image
“Me: Did you get your tree yet? Ken: I'm a Jew, I don't decorate Christmas trees. Me: So you're going to go… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
Imagine for a moment playing by children's rules. If you were at a party and saw someone you liked, you could just… — Miranda Hart Copy Share Image
“I hear that in many places something has happened to Christmas; that it is changing from a time of merriment and carefree… — Julia Peterkin Copy Share Image
“He looks up. Our eyes lock,and he breaks into a slow smile. My heart beats faster and faster. Almost there.He sets down… — Stephanie Perkins Copy Share Image
“What if—” I stopped, swallowing hard. Nope. I couldn’t even say it aloud. We’d figure something else out because we had to.… — Kiersten White Copy Share Image
“The Addams dwelling at 25 West Fifty-fourth Street was directly behind the Museum of Modern Art, at the top of the building.… — Linda H. Davis Copy Share Image
“Moreover, I have boundary issues with men. Or maybe that’s not fair to say. To have issues with boundaries, one must have… — Elizabeth Gilbert Copy Share Image
“We believe in the wrong things. That's what frustrates me the most. Not the lack of belief, but the belief in the… — Rachel Cohn Copy Share Image
Yeah I know sometimes things may not always make sense to you right now But hey, what'd daddy always tell you? Straighten… — Eminem Copy Share Image
“Moreover, I have boundary issues with men. Or maybe that's not fair to say. One must have boundaries in the first place,… — Elizabeth Gilbert Copy Share Image
“We Pfliegmans, however, are incapable of imagining anything. From the get-go, Pliegmans were outcasts in a country of outcasts. We were then,… — Jessica Anthony Copy Share Image
