My girlfriend is Jewish. But it's easier to buy her a Christmas present and then break it into 8 pieces. — Anthony Jeselnik Copy Share Image
(on being born on Christmas Day, 1924) I was a Christmas present that was delivered unwrapped. — Rod Serling Copy Share Image
Why are we not grateful to God for filling our stockings with legs? — Gilbert K. Chesterton Copy Share Image
We really couldn't listen to the radio. Never got a Christmas present from my mama a day in my life. — GloRilla Copy Share Image
My nearest and dearest have always been very careful. I've never had to send Christmas present back yet. — John Nettles Copy Share Image
Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present — Publilius Syrus Copy Share Image
“I wonder what it feels like to be a woman whose Christmas present must be bought in cash. Liberating.” — Gillian Flynn Copy Share Image
Best thing that's ever happened to me. I focus so much less on me. It's made me content, it's made me happy.… — Molly Sims Copy Share Image
I never dreamed, when I received a small table for a Christmas present from my parents, I would have the career that… — Stephen Hendry Copy Share Image
Simply having you here is the best Christmas present I could ever have. Thank you for making this year so wonderful and… — Axiz Copy Share Image
I grew up poor, but I didn't really know it because of amazing places like the Salvation Army where we got a… — Trey Songz Copy Share Image
Wanna know whats upsetting? My sister crying for her farther.She wants him for christmas.I think it would be a wonderful christmas present.But… — Jazzy Copy Share Image
Tom Petty sent me this amazing 12-string Rickenbacker, and 'Not for You' was the first time I used it. It was like… — Mike McCready Copy Share Image
I convince Donna's fine ass to come back to the party. I got her in my room, slid the dresser behind the… — Craig Jones Copy Share Image
I owe my life to my father. I remember that my first Christmas present was a ball. In the district where we… — Sergio Aguero Copy Share Image
I can remember being at Sandringham, for the first time, at Christmas. And I was worried what to give the Queen as… — Kate Middleton Copy Share Image
The problem with elections is that anybody who wants an office badly enough to run for it probably shouldn’t have it. And… — Orson Scott Card Copy Share Image
“Madden sizes me up. "Did you even ever get Christmas presents ...?" "Yes. And Hanukkkah presents. And Kwanzaa. Three Kings Day. Also,… — Andrea Portes Copy Share Image
No matter how many Christmas presents you give your child, there's always that terrible moment when he's opened the very last one.… — Mignon McLaughlin Copy Share Image
On Christmas morning, before we could open our Christmas presents, we would go to this stranger's home and bring them presents. I… — George Clooney Copy Share Image
I'm kind of a tech person, a nerd. I've always been the person who, when we got our Christmas presents, knew how… — Alexandra Richards Copy Share Image
Keep the change, Gin," McCallister said in a smarmy, mocking voice. "Consider it an early Christmas present." "Aw," I drawled. "A whopping… — Jennifer Estep Copy Share Image
“The librarian is a caricature of librarian - short white hair, horn-rimmed glasses, a bosom you could hide Christmas presents under and… — Bart Yates Copy Share Image
“As soon as he turns the key, a man with a heavy British accent starts talking about giants not being meant to… — Rysa Walker Copy Share Image
“I always listen,” Ranger said. “I don’t always agree. I have a problem right now that I can’t seem to solve by… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
[T]hese last few days where I've moped around damn near depressed for real, because of people who do not exist. Not really.… — Laurell K. Hamilton Copy Share Image
“The Christmas presents once opened are Not So Much Fun as they were while we were in the process of examining, lifting,… — Benjamin Hoff Copy Share Image
I was with Brian De Palma at the time, and he said he wrote the role specifically for me. I don't know… — Margot Kidder Copy Share Image
“Me: Did you get your tree yet? Ken: I'm a Jew, I don't decorate Christmas trees. Me: So you're going to go… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“The only problem with sharing a room with her sisters, Jessie decided, was that she couldn’t wrap their Christmas presents in there.… — Kate Willis Copy Share Image
“We love Christmas presents but not Christ; Easter baskets but not crosses. We want to tell our friends with cancer that we… — Heather Choate Davis Copy Share Image
“The Addams dwelling at 25 West Fifty-fourth Street was directly behind the Museum of Modern Art, at the top of the building.… — Linda H. Davis Copy Share Image
The ideal Christmas gift is money, but the trouble is you can't charge it. — Bill Vaughan Copy Share Image
Can I keep you forever? You are the Christmas present that I never want to lose. Merry Christmas my beloved. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered. — Phyllis Diller Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
The best Christmas present I got from my husband was a week to do whatever I wanted. — Olivia Williams Copy Share Image
I give out Atlas Shrugged as Christmas presents, and I make all my interns read it. — Paul Ryan Copy Share Image
![“[T]hese last few days where I've moped around damn near depressed for real, because of people who do not exist. Not really. I can buy them Christmas presents, but there is no way to send them. Sometimes I feel like I should be able to walk into the next room and there they will be, but they won't…” quote by Laurell K. Hamilton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c19/laurell-k-hamilton-199_able_t-hese-last-few-days-where-i-ve-moped-ar_73321.png)
