One of the biggest changes in my lifetime, is the phenomenon of men wearing shorts. Men never wore shorts when I was… — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share Image
Do not have your child's hair cut by a real hairdresser in a real hairdressing salon. He is, at this point, far… — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share Image
Educational television should be absolutely forbidden. It can only lead to unreasonable disappointment when your child discovers that the letters of the… — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share Image
Children are much less annoying [than adults] and they never start trends. — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share Image
I must take issue with the term 'a mere child,' for it has been my invariable experience that the company of a… — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share Image
If you don't have children and you don't have a job, you have time for friendship ... People who have jobs are… — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share Image
Designer clothes worn by children are like snowsuits worn by adults. Few can carry it off successfully. — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share Image
Notoriously insensitive to subtle shifts in mood, children will persist in discussing the color of a recently sighted cement-mixer long after one's… — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share Image
I never met anyone who didn't have a very smart child. What happens to these children, you wonder, when they reach adulthood? — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share Image
[Children are] like talking animals. Their consciousness is so different from ours that they constitute a different species. They don't have to… — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share Image
Children do not really need money. After all, they don't have to pay rent or send mailgrams. — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share Image
Why not have your first baby at sixty, when your husband is already dead and your career is over? Then you can really devote… — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share Image
I think humor is warmer, and wit is colder. Wit is judgment, whereas humor invites some sort of response. — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share Image
Communists all seem to wear small caps, a look I consider better suited to tubes of toothpaste than to people. — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share Image
“lack, or loutish and crass kollective is a program dedicated to the proposition that vulgarity and bad taste are an inalienable right. the lackies,… — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share Image
I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not. — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share Image
[Friendships] are easy to get out of compared to love affairs, but they are not easy to get out of compared to, say, jail. — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share Image
Smoking is, as far as I'm concerned, the entire point of being an adult. — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share Image
When it comes to sports I am not particularly interested. Generally speaking, I look upon them as dangerous and tiring activities performed by people… — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share Image
The first time I ever saw platform shoes in the '70s, I knew they'd been revived from the '40s, and I felt sickened. And… — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share Image
Children ask better questions than adults. "May I have a cookie?" "Why is the sky blue?" and "What does a cow say?" are far… — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share Image