I approximated the Black Friday experience at home by hurling myself into a wall a number of times and then ordering online. — Kumail Nanjiani Copy Share Image
I hope your Black Friday injuries aren't so severe that you can't click a mouse on Cyber Monday. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Make sure the clothes you buy on Black Friday take into account how fat you got on Thanksgiving. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Racked up I'm racked out, black Ferrari blacked out. Black Friday black mac, popping spades black jack. — French Montana Copy Share Image
You know if the U.S. Government wanted to boost the economy there's a simple solution make Black Friday the refund date for… — Stanley Victor Paskavich Copy Share Image
Sorry there's no Black Friday deal for the hospital visit you'll need after Black Friday. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Black Friday: Because only in America, people trample others for sales exactly one day after being thankful for what they already have. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Black Friday should actually be called the The Hunger Games. People kill each other and the winner gets a $20 crock pot. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
'Black Friday Bowling' Because those pins look A LOT like those bitches in front of me in line this morning! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Black Friday is a media trap, an orchestrated mass hallucination based on herd dynamics and the media cycle. — Seth Godin Copy Share Image
Everyone knows about Black Friday and Cyber Monday. Now help me spread the word about Giving Tuesday! — Bill Gates Copy Share Image
Don't even FRONT like you love your family, America, or God, if you don't have a DETAILED & REHEARSED Black Friday tactical… — Rob Delaney Copy Share Image
You shop to the butt crack of dawn with the crazies to save a few $. I'll spend Thanksgiving time being grateful… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Let's get our mind off America's debt crisis by maxing out our credit cards on a reckless shopping binge. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I thought Black Friday was when everyone puts on blackface and steals children from Wal-Mart. — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
Here's to hitting the over/under on how many people will be trampled at Walmart today! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My version of Black Friday is deleting all the people in my phone who sent me a 'mass Thanksgiving text.' — Blake Griffin Copy Share Image
Because only in America, people trample others for sales exactly one day after being thankful for what they already have. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
For those of us in the financial world, Black Friday has a strong negative connotation, referring to a stock market catastrophe. — Mark Skousen Copy Share Image
I did all that fighting for a TV on Black Friday and I didn't even pay my power bill. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A Friday is always a Friday, no matter whether it rains or snows or even if it's a 'black' one. — Jean-Paul Malfatti Copy Share Image
“Into the breach, then. Against mobs of middle-aged moms and frightening harridans we shall prevail.” She nodded sharply, raising an invisible sword.… — Patricia Briggs Copy Share Image
Some people see Black Friday as a much-needed break for their wallet. I see it as retail outlets showing the customers the… — Henry Rollins Copy Share Image
“Besides being blind to lots of good things, the GDP also benefits from all manner of human suffering. Gridlock, drug abuse, adultery?… — Rutger Bregman Copy Share Image
“I know that many people including our President insist that it be called the Christmas Season. I’ll be the first in line… — Captain Hank Bracker Copy Share Image
