I took the two most expensive aspirins in history.

After quitting radio I was able to live on the money I saved on aspirins.

— Fred Allen

I take New Years with a grain of salt and three aspirins.

— Milton Berle

If you want to write fiction, the best thing you can do is take two aspirins, lie down in a dark room, and wait…

— Lawrence Block

On July 20th, 1969, Buzz Aldrin and Neil Armstrong took the most expensive selfie in history. As the apex of an 8-year, $130 billion…

— Rick Tumlinson

“I drove 30 miles to buy some breath mints before I realized I had some already in my pocket. Then it took me another…

— Jarod Kintz

“His books distracted him for a while. They were like the aspirins you take when you've got a headache. They kill the pain for…

— Barbara Vine

Why Are Elephants Large, Gray And Wrinkly¦ ? . . . . Because . . . If They Were Small Round & White They Would Be Aspirins ;->

— Babloo

Change is tough, people don't like it, but it is necessary. Take two aspirins and call me in the morning.

— Christopher Bond

Nancy [Kassebaum] and I worked on a women's health agenda when I first came. Women were not included in the protocols at NIH, the…

— Barbara Mikulski

I’ve tried that. I’ve tried aspirin, too. Rusty thinks I should smoke marijuana, and I did for a while, but it only makes me…

— Truman Capote

I'm sick and tired of black and white people of good intent giving aspirin to a society that is dying of a cancerous disease.

— Ralph Abernathy

“We are living in a cultural dark age of musical pollution. You put the radio on, and five minutes later you need an aspirin.”

— Vangelis

Professionalism in medicine has given us medial miracles for the affluent but hospitals that will charge $35 for aspirin.

— Bill James

We have had two chickens in every pot, two cars in every garage, and now we have two headaches for every aspirin.

— Fiorello H. La Guardia

America is the country where you can buy a lifetime supply of aspirin For one dollar and use it up in two weeks.

— John Barrymore