I'd probably be a burglar, I'd burgle people.

If you're a burglar, it's no good waiting about outside somebody's house, looking good with your swag bag ready. Just get in there, burgle…

— Ian Holloway

“But he's nice," Barby objected. Tom Bishop smiled without humor. "Most pleasant and interesting man I ever knew was a burglar.”

— John Blaine

Don't throw a baby at anything - even a burglar.

— Eugene Mirman

When the enterprising burglar isn't burgling; When the cut-throat isn't occupied in crime; He loves to hear the little brook a-gurgling; And listen to…

— W. S. Gilbert

“He smiled affably at the burglar, a burly fellow whom he continued to hold with one hand, as easily as if he had been…

— Elizabeth Peters

Morality is a burglar's tool whose merit lies in never being left behind at the scene of the crime.

— Karl Kraus

Your money, or your life. We know what to do when a burglar makes this demand of us, but not when God does.

— Mignon McLaughlin

God is a sort of burglar. As a young man you knock him down; as an old man you try to conciliate him, because…

— Herbert Beerbohm Tree

It is the first time the burglar has been appointed as caretaker.

— Gough Whitlam

Crime in the cities is very discouraging. Apartment house dwellers have locks, bolts, chains and bars on their doors. It takes a tenant longer…

— Sam Ewing

Modern man threw a brick through his own window in order to sell himself a burglar alarm.

— Allen Carr

“There should be a soundtrack playing for me as I walk down the street... And for what I'm about to do, cosplay is for…

— S.R. Wilder

“The whole concept of some stranger making his way down our chimney - not that we had one - suggested burglary more readily than…

— Thomm Quackenbush

I have an unconscious burglar living in my mind: If I read something, it's mine.

— David Eddings

“I have chosen Mr Baggins and that ought to be enough for all of you. If I say he is a Burglar, a Burglar…

— J.R.R. Tolkien