Velcro: what a rip-off.

Having a beard is a good way to make your face more susceptible to velcro.

— Demetri Martin

Aside from Velcro, time is the most mysterious substance in the universe.

— Dave Barry

I think we've missed a trick there. We could develop wheat with the properties of Velcro... to catch whatever it is that's forming those…

— Bill Bailey

I don't know what we did without Velcro in the American theater. It's a miracle substance! People had long intermissions, probably.

— Jefferson Mays

I know in the spy movies it always looks really cool when the operative goes from a maid's uniform to a slinky, sexy, ballgown…

— Ally Carter

When I believe in something, I support it fully. On that note, I totally don't support Velcro shoes.

— Ashley Rickards

The action movies changed radically when it became possible to Velcro your muscles on. It was the beginning of a new era. The visual…

— Sylvester Stallone

Aside from velcro, time is the most mysterious substance in the universe. You can't see it or touch it, yet a plumber can charge…

— Dave Barry

I had a Velcro wallet in a casino. That sound annoyed the hell out of me. Whenever I lost money, and I opened the…

— Mitch Hedberg

Even if you were to fall into extreme financial hardship and file for bankruptcy, you need to understand that your student loan debt will…

— Suze Orman

You’re like Marilyn Monroe,’ Ken tells me, which I take as a compliment and say a nervous “Thank You”. Interrupting, he adds, ‘You’re all…

— Emma Forrest

Neither books nor people have Velcro Sides -- there must be a bonding agent -- someone who attaches child to book.

— Jim Trelease

If the claws didn't retract, cats would be like Velcro

— Bruce Fogle

So I’m into men now, even though they can be frightening. I want a schedule-keeping, waking-up-early, wallet-carrying, non-Velcro-shoe-wearing man.

— Mindy Kaling

You heard about, through word of mouth, Big Bird is out, he's in the house. He's turnin' up, with Snuffleup, They're really gettin' their…

— Black Thought