As we all know, the Discworld is a flat planet - like a…

“Someone broke from the scrum and, punching and kicking, staggered towards the Klatchian goal. "Isn't that man your butler?" said Ahmed. "Yes." "One of…

— Terry Pratchett

“Several times he had to flatten himself against the shelves as a thesaurus thundered by. He waited patiently as a herd of Critters crawled…

— Terry Pratchett

“The street was full of animals, milling around uncertainly. When animals are in a state of uncertainty they get nervous, and the street was…

— Terry Pratchett

It would seem that you have no useful skill or talent whatsoever," he said. "Have you thought of going into teaching?

— Terry Pratchett

“Vimes shook some lather off the blade. "Hah! I bet they have. Tell me, Willikins, did you fight much when you were a kid?…

— Terry Pratchett

“There was a hell for blasphemers. There was a hell for disputers of rightful authority. There were a number of hells for liars. There…

— Terry Pratchett

I think I work much harder on the children's books. I suppose I enjoy that. I find it interesting that although there are more…

— Terry Pratchett

“Don't wish , Miss Tick had said. Do things.”

— Terry Pratchett

A good bookshop is just a genteel Black Hole that knows how to read.

— Terry Pratchett

“Her books on alchemy were marvellous objects, every page a work of the engraver's art, but they nowhere contained instructions like "Be sure to…

— Terry Pratchett

“It was the way he wore the place. You expected him any moment to break into the kind of song that has suspicious rhymes…

— Terry Pratchett

Nature abhors a lot of things, including vacuums, ships called the Marie Celeste, and the chuck keys for electric drills.

— Terry Pratchett

“Sacharissa saw a movement. Boddony had pulled his axe out from under the bench. It was a traditional dwarf axe. One side was a…

— Terry Pratchett

“There was a steady drizzle when they left for the tower. Moist drove the cart, with the others sitting on the load behind him…

— Terry Pratchett

I am death, not taxes. I turn up only once.

— Terry Pratchett