I have MPS, a marsupial positioning system

I wrote on my website that veganism isn't right for everyone and the first thing you have to consider is nutrition. I was saying…

— Sara Pascoe

There's nothing you can't tell to an audience, because they're all people who've had lives. The only thing they don't want to watch is…

— Sara Pascoe

I thought all comedy was stupid. I went to watch a friend do stand-up and I thought absolutely everyone was terrible.

— Sara Pascoe

Someone who didn't do comedy might think it was awful to have someone talking about you. But I just love the attention, even if…

— Sara Pascoe

“Suddenly, an idea swooshed into his marsupial brain like a small propeller plane buzzing a crowd. ‘Why didn’t I think of that?”

— Sara Pascoe

“What’s “ague?”‘ Raya asked. ‘Malaria.’ Oscar said. ‘Oh, great.’ ‘Hey, you want plague? They got that too.’ Raya ignored the cat.”

— Sara Pascoe

Extensive analysis was conducted before deciding whether consumers would respond better to a male or female imprisoned in their phone. Almost every country in…

— Sara Pascoe

“The light inside houses was always so golden yellow. Oswald wondered if humans saved up sunshine and piped it through their lamps.”

— Sara Pascoe

I could barely function as an adult; I slept through alarm clocks and lost train tickets mid-journey.

— Sara Pascoe

It's unfair but true: youth is attractive, curvy women are attractive, outliers who look a bit different to everybody else are attractive.

— Sara Pascoe

When I was little, I wore shoes that were too small for me for years, so my feet grew weird, so my little toenails…

— Sara Pascoe

The Apollo seats 3,600 people: I could hear them making a huge noise for Milton Jones and Lee Mack. If the audience doesn't make…

— Sara Pascoe

Standup is a place where, as long as it's funny enough, you can say your most embarrassing things, shameful things and disappointing things.

— Sara Pascoe

Much of the discussion around how people look at women focuses on culture, as if the media is entirely to blame. As if, without…

— Sara Pascoe

When I was a small child we were allowed to wait up until midnight on 31 December. Then as the TV chimed, Dad would…

— Sara Pascoe