You don’t spend much. And you have a penis. Penises earn…

“John, let me make one thing clear,” Jim said, cutting me off in his most stern, evangelical voice. “Every man is blessed with his…

— David Wong

Penises are literally all around me all the time, and have a lot of influence on the world, on my world.

— Rachel Zucker

“There was said to be measuring of penises at the Orchid, but was it true and if so what did that mean?”

— Larry McMurtry

I'm not a real big fan of penises. Like my own, whenever I look at it, I just don't find anything attractive about it.…

— Pete Wentz

If he's at this party, I want you to stay far away from him." "Shouldn't that rule apply to you, and Jules, too? Unless…

— Suzanne Brockmann

Boys have penises and girls have vaginas. If they touch at the wrong time, you can make a baby or die.

— Eugene Mirman

Patrice: Don't worry, we're all doctors here, so we've seen plenty of penises.

— No Strings Attached (Movie

I don't write very much about penises. More than some poets but not perhaps as much as I should.

— Rachel Zucker

“Shit! I need to tell him about the other penises in my life.”

— B.J. Harvey

Men's brains are smaller than those of women so they can fit into their penises.

— Bette Midler

“I can't learn everything in a few months, Charles. Magic came first. Stupid hierarchy of egotistical penises had to take a backseat." "Penises don't…

— Anonymous

“Or maybe you know how two-hundred Post-it notes with pictures of penises drawn on them were glued to every inch of my desk.”

— Tara Sivec

“So … penises, right? I mean … just wow, so many penises. What would a girl even do with that many penises together in…

— Jane Washington

Do girls really look at penises and say Wow, I can't wait to put that in my mouth?

— Nikhil Saluja

“I grew up watching my father make plates that featured penises as centerpieces. Pink, proud, and stiff, encircled by cerulean Greek key, Dad’s creations…

— Royal Young