I’ll need a house key,” she said as she followed him into…

““I’ll need a house key,” she said as she followed him into the house. “Why?” The question so stupefied her that she stopped in her tracks and stared at him. “So I can get in when you aren’t here,” she explained as slowly and carefully as if he were just now learning English. In response he said, “Let me show you something,” in almost exactly the same tone she’d used. He pulled the door shut with a bang. “See that round thing? We call it a doorknob, and we use it to open the door. Pay attention, now. See how I put my hand on the doorknob? Turn it to the right, and—” Slowly he demonstrated, and triumphantly thrust the door open. “I’ll be damned if the door doesn’t open! That’s how you get in when I’m not here.” Ohhh, bonus points for both the demonstration and the sarcasm; she knew great smart-ass-ness when she saw it, and this was championship. “Correction,” she cooed. “That’s how it used to work. From now on you’ll need a key, because I will be locking the door while I’m here alone during the day, and if I go to Battle Ridge for supplies I’ll lock the door when I leave. I hope you have two keys, otherwise you’ll be knocking on the door to be let into your own house.” Then, because she couldn’t help herself, she smirked at him. He crossed his arms and leaned a broad shoulder against the doorframe. His expression hadn’t lightened, but a glint in those green eyes suddenly gave her the impression he was almost enjoying himself.””

— Linda Howard