I don't know how I've managed to reach the age of 45 as a…

After I became a professional comedian, I took to listening to Cash's classic hit 'Ring of Fire' before I went on stage. I always…

— Frank Skinner

I'm glad Reagan is president. Of course, I'm a professional comedian.

— Will Durst

I am a professional comedian, a published novelist, and a general wit for hire.

— Dominic Holland

I'm not a professional comedian. Nobody comes to my comedy shows. That's just a little hobby.

— David Rees

Being a professional comedian is doing it right and good, when you don't feel like it.

— Franklyn Ajaye

I considered myself a professional comedian because the club would pay me $20.

— Tom Green

I could never be a professional comedian, 'cause you have to keep telling the same jokes. For me, they're like word solos.

— Robyn Hitchcock

Nobody is a professional comedian for the first five, six years they're doing it.

— Taylor Tomlinson

Before I even knew what stand up was, I tried to make people laugh at school because that was how I made friends, so…

— Bill Burr

“Although I hate to read publicly, I began to get addicted to speaking publicly. For a grandiose opportunist like myself, AA can become a…

— Jeff Nichols

From the age of 14, I remember thinking I wanted to be a comedian. But that was like saying I wanted to be an…

— Lee Mack

If I was reading a book about a comedian, I wouldn't really care too much about their childhood.

— Lee Mack

My great-grandfather was a variety hall comedian called Billy Mack.

— Lee Mack

There's a difference between being a comic and a comedian. A comic is a guy who says funny things, and a comedian is a…

— Milton Berle

I like 'The Simpsons' like everybody else. But yeah - people think I'll always be super intense.

— Aldous Harding