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OK, now let’s have some fun. Let’s talk about sex. Let’s…

“OK, now let’s have some fun. Let’s talk about sex. Let’s talk about women. Freud said he didn’t know what women wanted. I know what women want. They want a whole lot of people to talk to. What do they want to talk about? They want to talk about everything. What do men want? They want a lot of…” quote by Kurt Vonnegut
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““OK, now let’s have some fun. Let’s talk about sex. Let’s talk about women. Freud said he didn’t know what women wanted. I know what women want. They want a whole lot of people to talk to. What do they want to talk about? They want to talk about everything. What do men want? They want a lot of pals, and they wish people wouldn’t get so mad at them. Why are so many people getting divorced today? It’s because most of us don’t have extended families anymore. It used to be that when a man and a woman got married, the bride got a lot more people to talk to about everything. The groom got a lot more pals to tell dumb jokes to. A few Americans, but very few, still have extended families. The Navahos. The Kennedys. But most of us, if we get married nowadays, are just one more person for the other person. The groom gets one more pal, but it’s a woman. The woman gets one more person to talk to about everything, but it’s a man. When a couple has an argument, they may think it’s about money or power or sex, or how to raise the kids, or whatever. What they’re really saying to each other, though, without realizing it, is this: “You are not enough people!” I met a man in Nigeria one time, an Ibo who has six hundred relatives he knew quite well. His wife had just had a baby, the best possible news in any extended family. They were going to take it to meet all its relatives, Ibos of all ages and sizes and shapes. It would even meet other babies, cousins not much older than it was. Everybody who was big enough and steady enough was going to get to hold it, cuddle it, gurgle to it, and say how pretty it was, or handsome. Wouldn't you have loved to be that baby?””

Kurt Vonnegut

About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

The speaker argues that modern couples lack extended social networks, leading to feelings of isolation and unmet relational needs, which often manifest as conflicts misatted to other issues.

In simple terms: People miss large families, causing loneliness in marriage.

Key Takeaway

Cultivate broader social connections beyond the partner.

Themes

relationships family loneliness communication social networks

Mood

reflective thoughtful

Type

sociological psychological observational

When to use this quote

  • family gatherings
  • community building
  • friendship circles
  • social clubs
  • support groups

Key Concepts

extended family social support psychological needs marital dynamics

Questions to Reflect On

  • How can couples intentionally expand their social circles?
  • What role does technology play in creating virtual extended families?
A Different Perspective

The claim may overlook cultural variations where nuclear families thrive without extended kin.

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