I'm too tasteful for my pants.

Sometimes life seems like a dream, especially when I look down and see that I forgot to put on my pants.

— Jack Handey

“And no man, not even Cyprien, could chase a girl with his pants down.”

— Lynn Viehl

I think-I need to ask an embarrassing question. Do you think I could borrow a pair of scrubs? I-uh-my pants-" "Oh!" Cried the poor…

— Maggie Stiefvater

I used to always pull my jersey out of my pants. Earl Tatum was like that, too. I was just more comfortable. There were…

— Bo Ellis

Style is innate to who I am. My father gave me a picture the other day. I must have been about seven, and I…

— Dylan McDermott

...that in spite of living in a mansion an American is not above wearing a pair of secondhand pants, bought for fifty cents.

— Jhumpa Lahiri

I remember my own life as a small boy, son of Jewish immigrants, in a janitor's flat on Orchard and Stanton streets on the…

— Jacob K. Javits

If you take off your pants and her first reaction is, "Awwww, look at it...like a little baby Jesus." Time to buy a Porsche.

— Dave Attell

We segregate men from women, and no matter how many times we insist that men and women are equal, men and women should be…

— W. J. T. Mitchell

“This was a true pants-pooping moment.”

— Dinah Katt

I wore hot pants and cowboy boots and I thought, 'What have I gotten myself into?'

— Alek Wek

If I did not wear torn pants, orthopedic shoes, frantic disheveled hair, that is to say, if I did not tone down my beauty,…

— Brenda Ueland

Every ten years a man should give himself a good kick in the pants.

— Edward Steichen

Nice pants, can I test the zipper?

— Anonymous

Okay, I know I said I wasn't going to shake things up, but we're going to have to get some pants on this one.

— Mike Mignola