Yeah, after each of my downhill putts.

I've gotten rid of the yips four times but they hang in there. You know those two-foot downhill putts with a break? I'd rather…

— Sam Snead

My swing is so bad I look like a caveman killing his lunch.

— Lee Trevino

Golf gives you an insight into human nature, your own as well as your opponent's.

— Grantland Rice

Men who would face torture without a word become blasphemous at the short fourteenth. It is clear that the game of golf may well…

— A. P. Herbert

His driving is unbelievable. I don't go that far on my holidays.

— Ian Baker-Finch

Golf is the most fun you can have with out taking your clothes off.

— Chi Chi Rodriguez

Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at it.

— Jimmy Demaret

Sex is the most fun you can have without smiling.

— Madonna Ciccone

I never pray to God to make a putt. I pray to God to help me react good if I miss a putt.

— Chi Chi Rodriguez

I would like to deny all allegations by Bob Hope that during my last game of golf, I hit an eagle, a birdie, an…

— Gerald R. Ford

I never learned anything from a match that I won.

— Bobby Jones

I'm about five inches from being an outstanding golfer. That's the distance my left ear is from my right.

— Ben Crenshaw

My body is here, but my mind has already teed off.

— Keith Michael

Golf is a game where white men can dress up as black pimps and get away with it.

— Robin Williams

Golf is not, on the whole, a game for realists. By its exactitudes of measurements it invites the attention of perfectionists.

— Heywood Hale Broun