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The best apology, I think, was from my husband, Steve, who…

“The best apology, I think, was from my husband, Steve, who slept with a close friend of mine decades back, when we were committed to being life partners but not yet married. And many of the factors that made Steve's apology so healing are universal. One important thing is that he confessed to the…” quote by Harriet Lerner
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“The best apology, I think, was from my husband, Steve, who slept with a close friend of mine decades back, when we were committed to being life partners but not yet married. And many of the factors that made Steve's apology so healing are universal. One important thing is that he confessed to the affair, rather than my discovering it. He looked deeply into his own history in terms of why this happened, but he never used that history as an excuse.”

Harriet Lerner

About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

A sincere apology involves confession without excuse, focusing on personal responsibility and insight into one’s own motives.

In simple terms: Apology should be honest and self‑examined.

Key Takeaway

Own your actions and seek understanding.

Themes

relationships accountability healing

Mood

empathetic hopeful

Type

psychological relationship

When to use this quote

  • marriage counseling
  • conflict resolution
  • personal growth

Key Concepts

psychology communication

Questions to Reflect On

  • How can one ensure an apology is genuine?
  • What role does forgiveness play after confession?
A Different Perspective

Apologies may not fully repair deep betrayal.

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