Two-thirds of all preachers, doctors and lawyers are…

'When you slip on a banana peel, people laugh at you. When you tell people you slipped on a banana peel, it's your laugh.'

— Nora Ephron

It doesn't matter to me where Barack Obama goes. If he wants to go to Hawaii because it's his home state, fine! Hunky-dory. Plastic…

— Rush Limbaugh

Hey, maybe instead of going to college, you should drop out and I could quit my job and we can form an all-girl band…

— Daniel Palladino

“The banana flavour of his accidental conception, and the banana theme of his accidental death, now all seemed to conspire against him and rather…

— Tom Conrad

While it's true that you may lose your religion during the course of a lifetime, you never lose your salvation. Once you let Jesus…

— Cathleen Falsani

We had an abundance of mangoes, papaias and bananas here, but the pride of the islands, the most delicious fruit known to men, cherimoya,…

— Mark Twain

Everything goes with short hair. It's bananas.

— Ginnifer Goodwin

From cheesecake on a stick to meat skewers to deep-fried bananas on a stick - there are no plates anymore. In Los Angeles, everything…

— Steve Carell

Los Estados Unidos has turned into a banana republic, a fascist banana republic.

— Gerald Celente

A Tom Ford three-piece makes you feel so confident, it's bananas.

— Dwyane Wade

With an animated show you can make a banana purple. You can put three hats on a cowboy. That would require several days of…

— Dan Harmon

I ate two waffles, a banana and cereal with blueberries. And that whas between my two breakfasts.

— Amy Poehler

In Puerto Rico, we have a lot of traditions. We eat a very typical thing that's called 'pasteles' - it's almost like a tamale…

— Joyce Giraud

look, you know i don't wanna come on ungrateful, but that warren report, you know as well as me, just didn't make it. You…

— Bob Dylan

Starting Monday, 7-11 will begin testing a new plastic wrap designed to keep bananas yellow and firm for five days. Though if your banana…

— Seth Meyers