Holy shit, are you positive?" "As a pregnancy test a month…

You check the pregnancy test every month, and when it comes up negative it can start to wear on you

— Cindy Margolis

As a veteran of many an electoral defeat at the polls, may I remind you of the proper Texan attitude toward slaughter at the…

— Anonymous

Asian Pregnancy Test: Insert Rubix Cube into the vagina and pull it out thirty seconds later. If it is solved, you're pregnant.

— Amit Verma

“Are you lost, Lea? This isn't where they're handing out the free pregnancy tests.”

— Jennifer L. Armentrout

Positive is always good, unless you took a pregnancy test.

— Anonymous

“One of the main functions of a push-up bra is to lower the number of mothers who seem like mothers.”

— Mokokoma Mokhonoana

I was almost hoping that the pregnancy test I took would show up positive so there would be an explanation for my recent weight…

— Anonymous

“They stared at each other for several long minutes hoping the other would give in. Finally she broke. “Fine, will you go in with…

— R.L. Mathewson

Sometimes, when I'm feeling down because nothing seems to be going right, I like to take a home pregnancy test. Then I can say,…

— Daniel Tosh

What does a blonde ask her blonde friend who just did a pregnancy test? Were the questions hard? Did you pass?

— James Donkor

“Sometimes this just happens,” Kylie said, much calmer now that she had a sneak preview of his comeuppance. “Just happens?” Burnett bellowed out. “Are…

— C.C. Hunter

“Simple, clear-cut tests could be sold much like pregnancy tests, making them widely available to consumers. Others with more complex analyses or implications should…

— Scientific American

Today, after my boyfriend broke up with me, the only thing positive about my day was a pregnancy test. FML

— Sheryne Brooks

“Go ahead. Ask me who the father is.” He only smiled. “Do I look that stupid to you?” She pushed back her short hair…

— Diana Palmer

“Kerry had headed up the back stairs of the pub, and even as exhausted as she was, she’d still found it impossible to wipe…

— Donna Kauffman