He called it a mastodon (which means, a touch…

Most big companies don't like you very much, except hotels, airlines and Microsoft, which don't like you at all.

— Bill Bryson

“But Welsh spellings are as nothing compared with Irish Gaelic, a language in which spelling and pronunciation give the impression of having been devised…

— Bill Bryson

“Pantaloons were often worn tight as paint and were not a great deal less revealing, particularly as they were worn without underwear. . .…

— Bill Bryson

If you go out on the Appalachian Trail, you have to bring so much more equipment - a tent, sleeping bag - but if…

— Bill Bryson

“The dining table was a plain board called by that name. It was hung on the wall when not in use, and was perched…

— Bill Bryson

“From almost nothing, France in four years built up an aircraft industry that employed nearly 200,000 people and produced some 70,000 planes. Britain built…

— Bill Bryson

“Every twenty minutes on the Appalachian Trail, Katz and I walked farther than the average American walks in a week. For 93 percent of…

— Bill Bryson

“A diarist named George Templeton Strong recorded in the winter of 1866 that even with two furnaces alight and all the fireplaces blazing, he…

— Bill Bryson

Tune your television to any channel it doesn't receive and about 1 percent of the dancing static you see is accounted for by this…

— Bill Bryson

As a rule of thumb, I would submit that if you need to call your floss provider, for any reason, you are probably not…

— Bill Bryson

Nobody gets excited about the future at all, ever. The future is something we find depressing and worrisome.

— Bill Bryson

“What made this particularly interesting is that John Howard is by far the dullest man in Australia. Imagine a very committed funeral home director…

— Bill Bryson

I would make a genuinely terrible guide. I can't remember things. I would get half way through telling a story or explaining something and…

— Bill Bryson

“In the mystifying world that was Victorian parenthood, obedience took precedence over all considerations of affection and happiness, and that odd, painful conviction remained…

— Bill Bryson

If this book has a lesson, it is that we are awfully lucky to be here-and by 'we' I mean every living thing. To…

— Bill Bryson