I would much rather be someone with high self-esteem and less funny. — Nikki Glaser Esteem Copy Share Image
I just realized I have probably spent more time in a strip club than Rihanna has, and that is saying a lot… — Nikki Glaser Copy Share Image
All my relatives and friends have been pretty aware of my brand of humor for a while, so none of them have… — Nikki Glaser Copy Share Image
All my life - middle school, high school - I've always been worried what are people going to think. — Nikki Glaser Copy Share Image
You're not too good for the sleep mask-neck pillow combo! You're not too cool for it! — Nikki Glaser Mask Copy Share Image
Someone told me I looked like a young Tonya Harding recently, as if 'young' would soften the blow. — Nikki Glaser Copy Share Image
People are just so insensitive because they're ignorant; they don't understand, so they're scared of what they're ignorant of. — Nikki Glaser Copy Share Image
I was always thinking the funny things but was always quiet and scared to be made fun of. — Nikki Glaser Always thinking Copy Share Image
A college degree was very important for them; it wasn't for me. So I picked English because I'm fluent. I thought it… — Nikki Glaser College Copy Share Image
I just got a new dog, so I was worried that he'd hate the fireworks, and he did, but just because he's… — Nikki Glaser America Copy Share Image
My boyfriend and I are not good at fighting. We're better than we were when we started dating - two breakups and… — Nikki Glaser Copy Share Image
I don't know what that is because to me, Feb. 14 is Rob Thomas' birthday, and that's only what I acknowledge it… — Nikki Glaser Copy Share Image
I think people are afraid of the concept of open relationships. Like, 'I will not accept this.' They don't have to! No… — Nikki Glaser Copy Share Image
College is good discipline. That's what I learned there: pull an all-nighter, get it done, and get an A. I'm the biggest… — Nikki Glaser College Copy Share Image
I was lucky enough to find stand-up really early in life. And I'm so grateful that I did, because the second I… — Nikki Glaser Comedy Copy Share Image
The first place I ever performed was at CU Boulder. I went there my freshman year and discovered stand-up after my friends… — Nikki Glaser Campus Copy Share Image
If anyone's going to bring about mass extinction, it'll be Donald Trump. — Nikki Glaser Copy Share Image
I nannied for a couple of months. The kids were super-funny; it made me wish I grew up in a comedy household.… — Nikki Glaser Comedy Copy Share Image
I started out splitting my time between the Kansas City and St. Louis comedy scenes, which both had bluer sensibilities than other… — Nikki Glaser City Copy Share Image
I have to say that it's fun to write for young girls, and it's exciting to know that we're influencing them and… — Nikki Glaser Fun Copy Share Image
I'm not a bleeding-heart feminist, but I do like to call out that stuff in my act. It's nice when you find… — Nikki Glaser Feminism Copy Share Image
I went and hung out at a foot fetish party, and I knew that was a very popular fetish to have, but… — Nikki Glaser Amazing Copy Share Image
I had a guy on Facebook for, like, years just asking if he could PayPal me money, and of course I have… — Nikki Glaser Copy Share Image
I'm learning that if you put yourself out there and make fun of yourself first, it really does work. People can't really… — Nikki Glaser Comedy Copy Share Image
I think I deal with my anger toward my relationship or about my relationship or about my friendships or my family -… — Nikki Glaser Anger Copy Share Image
I was going to go to a Gathering of the Juggalos but decided that wouldn't work. They would know I was there… — Nikki Glaser Fun Copy Share Image
As far as how I approach the humor, I think the best comedy is going to happen when I'm myself and act… — Nikki Glaser Copy Share Image
I remember thinking years ago about getting a half special, 'When you get that, that will be it. That will be all… — Nikki Glaser Copy Share Image
We just learned about this fetish where guys just give women money and know that they are spending their money. It's not… — Nikki Glaser Fetish Copy Share Image
As a female comic, if you talk about sex in any capacity, you will be branded a 'sex comic,' so I might… — Nikki Glaser Copy Share Image
A lot of being a woman in this business is about how you look... That's not why we're even in this business;… — Nikki Glaser Business Copy Share Image
My logic used to be if I get angry at my boyfriend, he could say, 'Well, if that thing I do that… — Nikki Glaser Angry Copy Share Image
Sarah Silverman. She's the reason I do comedy. Her DNC speech was my favorite thing I ever heard. Sitting down with her… — Nikki Glaser Comedy Copy Share Image
I am a woman, so I never want to hide that or be like, 'I'm one of the boys,' because I'm not.… — Nikki Glaser Copy Share Image
When I did 'Nikki and Sara Live,' I think a lot of the comedy got lost because we were always so worried… — Nikki Glaser Copy Share Image
I won't tackle something like furries, because there's nothing new to say. Also, I won't do anything that I think will put… — Nikki Glaser Life Copy Share Image
Why am I sharing this part of my life when it opens me up to judgment? But part of me wants to… — Nikki Glaser Human Copy Share Image
Just sharing things that are either embarrassing or possibly relatable, searching for that laugh so that someone makes me feel less alone.… — Nikki Glaser Alone Copy Share Image
No one's too big for a compliment. A lot of times, people think with celebrities, 'Oh, she knows she's great in that!'… — Nikki Glaser Copy Share Image
I remember the 'Jenny McCarthy Show' being kind of funny, and I remember her being just like one of the boys. I… — Nikki Glaser Copy Share Image
