Mason Cooley

Everyone makes sexy sounds; relatively few, sexy sights.

— Mason Cooley

Unlike the actual, the fictional explains itself.

— Mason Cooley

Logic and fact keep interfering with the easy flow of conversation.

— Mason Cooley

Cats are inquisitive, but hate to admit it.

— Mason Cooley

The mind scolds the heart, which makes excuses and goes its own way.

— Mason Cooley

No one can remember himself as an unpleasant child.

— Mason Cooley

Warning: fortune cookies don't care what happens to you.

— Mason Cooley

Life is always rich, thought only occasionally so.

— Mason Cooley

Out of power, Marxism can develop critical intelligence; in power, it quickly becomes stupid.

— Mason Cooley

Striving toward a goal puts a more pleasing construction on our advance toward death.

— Mason Cooley

Aphorisms have never seduced anybody, but they have fooled some into considering themselves worldly-wise.

— Mason Cooley

Anybody can lead a frivolous life. A frivolous writer, however, must have taste and intelligence.

— Mason Cooley

Mars and Venus are at it again. This time, Hephaestus is standing by with a private detective, a photographer, and a lawyer.

— Mason Cooley

The lazy manage to keep up with the earth's rotation just as well as the industrious.

— Mason Cooley

Thank God for the passing of the discomforts and vile cuisine of the age of chivalry!

— Mason Cooley

You are as happy as you think you are, but not necessarily as miserable as you imagine.

— Mason Cooley

The ravaged face in the mirror hides the enchanting youth that is the real me.

— Mason Cooley

Self-inflicted misery smirks under its crown of thorns.

— Mason Cooley

Family romances are the only ones that never turn out happily.

— Mason Cooley

The Ordinary Life: the misery seems planned, the happiness accidental.

— Mason Cooley

I can imagine many things, but few clearly.

— Mason Cooley

The most reliable pleasure afforded by theater is the intermission.

— Mason Cooley

I deplore my shortcomings, but plan to keep them.

— Mason Cooley

When lying to someone, look him straight in the eye.

— Mason Cooley

The lyric deals with love and sorrow, the aphorism with contradiction and deceit.

— Mason Cooley

English has borrowed from everywhere and now goes everywhere.

— Mason Cooley

Intuition is often mistaken, but not altogether.

— Mason Cooley

Those who refuse to play second fiddle may wind up playing no fiddle at all.

— Mason Cooley

Adversity can strengthen us if it does not go on too long.

— Mason Cooley

Treat unhappiness as a defect and fewer would embrace it.

— Mason Cooley

Faith of the bore: everything is worth saying.

— Mason Cooley

Fulfillment is often more trouble than it is worth.

— Mason Cooley

With decrepitude, longevity has overshot the mark.

— Mason Cooley

Fame now wears the halo that once crowned holiness.

— Mason Cooley

Jargon: any technical language we do not understand.

— Mason Cooley

Universal truths have become an embarrassment, but they won't quite go away.

— Mason Cooley

In a strange city, I connect through food and fantasy.

— Mason Cooley

Consensus is usually made possible by vague language and shallow commitments.

— Mason Cooley

Until I am ready to lose weight, I cannot see how fat I am.

— Mason Cooley

Our most important decisions are made while we are thinking about something else.

— Mason Cooley