Sometimes performing someone else's song is more difficult than writing your own. — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
If you're paranoid long enough, sooner or later you're gonna be right. — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
Well, I hate to be the one to take the flyswatter to Tinker Bell, but... — Kinky Friedman Bells Copy Share Image
“Every time you see a beautiful woman, just remember, somebody else got tired of her shit” — Kinky Friedman Beautiful woman Copy Share Image
I even went so far as to become a Southern Baptist for a while, until I realized that they didn't hold 'em… — Kinky Friedman Baptist Copy Share Image
I'm well aware that the Nelson Mandelas and the Winston Churchills of the world happened by accident. They usually come out of… — Kinky Friedman Accidents Copy Share Image
In six days the Lord created the heavens and the earth and all the wonders therein. There are some of us who… — Kinky Friedman Earth Copy Share Image
The art of writing fiction is to sail as dangerously close to the truth as possible without sinking the ship — Kinky Friedman Art Copy Share Image
Jerry Jones and Chris Christie are probably the most important latent homosexual relationship since Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson. — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
I believe that voices like Ross Perot (search), Pat Buchanan, Ralph Nader should be heard. They don't have to be president. Give… — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
We're all worm bait waiting to happen. It's what you do while you wait that matters. — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
Remember: Y'all is singular. All y'all is plural. All y'all's is plural possessive. — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
William Bennett is my patron saint, one of them. Redd Foxx is another. — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
The main health hazard in the world today is people who don't love themselves. — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
If you're lookin' for a helpin' hand, try the one at the end of your arm. — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
No matter where you go, you always see yourself in the rearview mirror. — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
If Jesus Christ had run as an independent, Rick Perry would have beat him. — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
I'm not pro-life, and I'm not pro-choice. I'm pro-football. — Kinky Friedman Choices Copy Share Image
How can you look at the Texas legislature and still believe in intelligent design? — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
If Raymond Chandler came from the South, his name would be Ace Atkins. — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
The Democrats and Republicans are the same guy admiring themself in the mirror. — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
Golf is the only opportunity that middle-aged WASPs have to dress up like a pimp. — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
A happy childhood... is the worst possible preparation for life. — Kinky Friedman Child Copy Share Image
When a stray animal crosses your path, it may be as close to God as you're going to get in this lifetime. — Kinky Friedman Animal Copy Share Image
