Take the selfishness out of this world and there would be more happiness than we should know what to do with. — Josh Billings Happiness Copy Share Image
I haven't got as much money as some folks, but I've got as much impudence as any of them, and that's the… — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
It is true that wealth won't make a man virtuous, but I notice there ain't anybody who wants to be poor just… — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
Most people when they come to you for advice, come to have their own opinions strengthened, not corrected. — Josh Billings Advice Copy Share Image
My advice to those who are about to begin, in earnest, the journey of life, is to take their heart in one… — Josh Billings Advice Copy Share Image
It ain't what a man don't know that makes him a fool, but what he does know that ain't so. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
Zoroaster said, when in doubt abstain; but this does not always apply. At cards, when in doubt take the trick. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
If a man is right, he can't be too radical; if he is wrong, he can't be too conservative. — Josh Billings Conservative Copy Share Image
It is easy to assume a habit; but when you try to cast it off, it will take skin and all. — Josh Billings Addiction Copy Share Image
It's not what we don't know that prevents us from succeeding; it's what we know that just ain't so that is our… — Josh Billings Greatest obstacles Copy Share Image
Friendship is like earthenware, once broken, it can be mended; love is like a mirror, once broken that ends it. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
Threescore years and ten is enough; if a man can't suffer all the misery he wants in that time, he must be… — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
I would much rather always look forward to the time when I am going to ride in a carriage, than to look… — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
Theres not a lot of good humor in medicine, but theres a lot of medicine in good humor. — Josh Billings Doctor Copy Share Image
As a general rule, if you want to get at the truth - hear both sides and believe neither. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
A man running for office puts me in mind of a dog that's lost-he smells everybody he meets, and wags himself all… — Josh Billings Animal Copy Share Image
It's not only the most difficult thing to know one's self, but the most inconvenient. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
I never had a man come to me for advice yet, but what I soon discovered that he thought more of his… — Josh Billings Advice Copy Share Image
When a young man begins to go down hill everything seems to be greased for the occasion. — Josh Billings Hills Copy Share Image
There is no greater evidence of superior intelligence than to be surprised at nothing. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
I have never known a person to live to be one hundred and be remarkable for anything else. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
When a man makes up his mind to become a rascal, he should examine himself closely and see if he isn't better… — Josh Billings Fool Copy Share Image
There is no limit to the vanity of this world. Each spoke in the wheel thinks the whole strength of the wheel… — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
As long as we are lucky we attribute it to our smartness; our bad luck we give the gods credit for. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
I hate to be a kicker, I always long for peace, But the wheel that does the squeaking, is the one that… — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
...But why discourse Upon the Virtues of the Horse? They are too numerous to tell Save when you have a Horse to… — Josh Billings Character Copy Share Image
It AIN'T so much the things we don't know that get us into trouble. It's the things we know that just ain't… — Josh Billings Inspirational Copy Share Image
Prejudice is a house-plant which is very apt to wilt if you take it out-of-doors among folks. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
The devil is the father of lies, but he neglected to patent the idea, and the business now suffers from competition. — Josh Billings Business Copy Share Image
Habits are like the wrinkles on a man's brow; if you will smooth out the one, I will smooth out the other. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
Our continual desire for praise ought to convince us of our mortality, if nothing else will. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
The greatest thief this world has ever produced is procrastination, and he is still at large. — Josh Billings Funny Copy Share Image
Seneca devoted much of his time to writing essays in praise of poverty, and in lending money at usurious rates. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
The more humble a man is before God the more he will be exalted; the more humble he is before man, the… — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
The quickest way to take the starch out of someone who is always blaming himself is to agree with him. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
It is a statistical fact that the wicked work harder to reach hell than the righteous do to enter heaven — Josh Billings Clever Copy Share Image
There is only one good substitute for the endearments of a sister, and that is the endearments of some other fellow's sister. — Josh Billings Endearment Copy Share Image
A witty writer is like a porcupine; his quill makes no distinction between friend and foe. — Josh Billings Distinction Copy Share Image
Its harly my dog A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself. — Josh Billings Animal Copy Share Image
There's tons of people that spend a lot time watching their well being, they have not acquired time to take pleasure in… — Josh Billings People Copy Share Image
