Josh Billings

There is gravity in wisdom, but no particular wisdom in gravity.

— Josh Billings

Common sense is instinct, and enough of it is genius.

— Josh Billings

Doesn't know much, but leads the league in nostril hair.

— Josh Billings

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.

— Josh Billings

Ignorance ain't not knowin' stuff; ignorance is knowin' stuff that AIN'T TRUE.

— Josh Billings

Debt is a trap which man sets and baits himself, and then deliberately gets into.

— Josh Billings

Knowledge is like money, the more a man gits the more he hankers for.

— Josh Billings

The thinner the ice, the more anxious is everyone to see whether it will bear.

— Josh Billings

I think when the full horror of being fifty hits you, you should stay home and have a good cry.

— Josh Billings

The best time for you to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust.

— Josh Billings

The truly innocent are those who not only are guiltless themselves but who think others are.

— Josh Billings

Titles are valuable; they make us acquainted with many persons who otherwise would be lost among the rubbish.

— Josh Billings

As a general thing, when a woman wears the pants in a family, she has a good right to them.

— Josh Billings

It ain't because lovers are so sensitive that they quarrel so often; it is because there is so much fun n the…

— Josh Billings

It's not the things you don't know that fool you. It's the things you do know that ain't so.

— Josh Billings

Man was created a little lower than the angels and has bin getting a little lower ever since.

— Josh Billings

Wisdom deprives even poverty of half its power.

— Josh Billings

Beauty is a very handy thing to have, especially for a woman who ain't handsome.

— Josh Billings

There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory.

— Josh Billings

A WISE MAN never enjoys himself so much, or a FOOL so little, as when he is alone.

— Josh Billings

Liberty, like chastity, once lost, can never be regained in its original purity.

— Josh Billings

There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.

— Josh Billings

Everybody in this world wants watching, but nobody more than ourselves.

— Josh Billings

We are ap tu hate them, who wont take our advice, and despise them who do.

— Josh Billings

Don't put off till tomorrow what can be enjoyed today.

— Josh Billings

I don't care how much a man talks, if he only says it in a few words.

— Josh Billings

Money will buy a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail.

— Josh Billings

Knowledge is like money: the more he gets, the more he craves.

— Josh Billings

You should always live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so.

— Josh Billings

Experience is a school where a man learns what a big fool he has been.

— Josh Billings

It strains a man's philosophy the worst kind to laugh when he gets beat.

— Josh Billings

Suicide is cheating the doctor out of job.

— Josh Billings

The best medicine I know for rheumatism is to thank the Lord that it ain't gout.

— Josh Billings

A wise man never enjoys himself so much, nor a fool so little, as when alone.

— Josh Billings

Life is short, but it's long enough to ruin any man who wants to be ruined.

— Josh Billings

Prejudice assumes the garb of reason, but the cheat is too thin.

— Josh Billings

Never run into debt, not if you can find anything else to run into.

— Josh Billings

Music hath the charm to soothe a savage beast, but I'd try a revolver first.

— Josh Billings

The man who has never been tempted doesn't know how dishonest he is.

— Josh Billings

Opinions should be formed with great caution, and changed with greater.

— Josh Billings