Helen Fielding

“It was technological and black and thin and therefore Evil, but... it was also a book.”

— Helen Fielding

With most of the events in the books [ Bridget Jones Diaries ] I draw a little bit from my own life…

— Helen Fielding

It occurred to me that if Africa needed us, sometimes we needed Africa a great deal more.

— Helen Fielding

Sink into morbid, cynical reflection on how much romantic heartbreak is to do with ego and miffed pride rather than actual loss

— Helen Fielding

As Bridget writes to her son, in Bridget Jones' Baby - "if you just keep calm and keep your spirits up, things…

— Helen Fielding

“It's all chop-change chop-change with you. Either go out with me and treat me nicely, or leave me alone. As I say,…

— Helen Fielding

“The plans to lose weight and change personality kept me aloft for two days, only to collapse around my ears. I realize…

— Helen Fielding

“That is such crap. How dare you be so fraudulently flirtatious, cowardly and dysfunctional? I am not interested in emotional fuckwittage. Goodbye.”

— Helen Fielding

It struck me as pretty ridiculous to be called Mr. Darcy and to stand on your own looking snooty at a party.…

— Helen Fielding

“Clearly in textbook terms, the gentleman should text the lady first after intercourse, but perhaps the whole socio-etiquettical system breaks down when…

— Helen Fielding

I'd always hoped to write the story as a novel, but there was a long period when the [Bridget Jones's Baby: The…

— Helen Fielding

“However, on glimpsing in shop window realized outfit insane. Now am on bus, remember also that corset-ike nature of dress is torture…

— Helen Fielding

I was writing an earnest novel about cruises in the Caribbean and I just started writing 'Bridget Jones' to get some money,…

— Helen Fielding

“I will not fall for any of the following: alcoholics, workaholics, commitment phobics, people with girlfriends or wives, misogynists, megalomanics, chauvists, emotional…

— Helen Fielding

“All got really plastered after that. Was completely fantastic evening. As Tom said, if Miss Havisham had had some jolly flatmates to…

— Helen Fielding

“Jude: Just as you are? Not thinner? Not cleverer? Not with slightly bigger breasts or slightly smaller nose? Bridget: No. Shazzer: Well,…

— Helen Fielding

“Would that Christmas could just be, without presents. It is just so stupid, everyone exhausting themselves, miserably hemorrhaging money on pointless items…

— Helen Fielding

“I looked at him nonplussed. I realized that I have spent so many years being on a diet that the idea that…

— Helen Fielding

“Being a woman is worse than being a farmer there is so much harvesting and crop spraying to be done: legs to…

— Helen Fielding

“Why, when people are leaving their partners because they're having an affair with someone else, do they think it will seem better…

— Helen Fielding

“THEY ARE CHILDREN!’ Mr Wallaker roared. ‘They are not corporate products! What they need to acquire is not a constant massaging of…

— Helen Fielding

It seems wrong and unfair that Christmas, with its stressful and unmanageable financial and emotional challenges, should first be forced upon one…

— Helen Fielding

I had my daughter by C-section, so knew when and where she was going to be born. I got freakishly organized and…

— Helen Fielding

“Call me old-fashioned, but I did read in Glamour that one’s shorts should always be longer than one’s vagina.”

— Helen Fielding

Singletons should not have to explain themselves all the time but should have an accepted status — like geisha girls do

— Helen Fielding

You see, things being good has nothing to do with how you feel outside, it is all to do with how you…

— Helen Fielding

Valentine's Day purely commercial, cynical enterprise, anyway. Matter of supreme indifference to me.

— Helen Fielding

It is proved by surveys that happiness does not come from love, wealth, or power but the pursuit of attainable goals.

— Helen Fielding

I come from Yorkshire in England where we like to eat chip sandwiches - white bread, butter, tomato ketchup and big fat…

— Helen Fielding

Women today are bombarded with so many messages, like we should have Naomi Campbell's body and Madeleine Albright's career.

— Helen Fielding

I think the pressure to be perfect generally in life has amped up massively in the last twenty years: especially for young…

— Helen Fielding

“Bridget: Thank you, Daniel, that is very good to know. But if staying here means working within 10 yards of you, frankly,…

— Helen Fielding

“Alcohol units: 5. Drowning sorrows. Cigarettes: 23. Fumigating sorrows. Calories: 3,856. Smothering sorrows in fat duvet.”

— Helen Fielding

“Bridget. Sleeping with a twenty-nine year old off Twitter on the second date is not 'rather like in Jane Austen's day'." (Talitha)”

— Helen Fielding

“Bridget Jones, wanton sex goddess, with a very bad man between her thighs... Mum... Hi.”

— Helen Fielding

I certainly think I'll end up writing about America in some form. I've taken plenty of notes. I like America very much.

— Helen Fielding

“We cannot avoid pain, we cannot avoid loss. Contentment comes from the ease and flexibility with which we move through change.”

— Helen Fielding

“this sort of, arrogant individualism which imagines each new generation can somehow create the world afresh.”

— Helen Fielding

“...he picked me up in his arms, as if I was as light as a feather, which I am not, unless it…

— Helen Fielding

If we can't have comedy books written about aspects of womanhood without going into a panic attack about it, then we haven't…

— Helen Fielding