When women kiss it always reminds one of prize fighters shaking hands. — H. L. Mencken Copy Share Image
America's biggest failure is its inability to take comedy seriously. — H. L. Mencken America Copy Share Image
[Government's] great contribution to human wisdom...is the discovery that the taxpayer has more than one pocket. — H. L. Mencken Contribution Copy Share Image
In the duel of sex woman fights from a dreadnought and man from an open raft. — H. L. Mencken Duel Copy Share Image
The townspeople are morons, yokels, peasants and genus homo boobiensis...surrounded by gaping primates from the upland vallies. — H. L. Mencken Copy Share Image
The artist is not a reporter, but a Great Teacher. It is not his business to depict the world as it is,… — H. L. Mencken Art Copy Share Image
Chopin--Two embalmers at work upon a minor poetthe scent of tuberosesAutumn rain. — H. L. Mencken Copy Share Image
If there were only three women left in the world, two of them would immediately convene a court-martial to try the other… — H. L. Mencken Court Copy Share Image
Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses. — H. L. Mencken Democracy Copy Share Image
The great secret of happiness in love is to be glad that the other fellow married her. — H. L. Mencken Copy Share Image
If there was ever a dissenter from the national optimismit was surely Edgar Allan Poe--without question the bravest and mostoriginal, if perhaps… — H. L. Mencken Copy Share Image
For it is mutual trust, even more than mutual interest that holds human associations together. Our friends seldom profit us but they… — H. L. Mencken Copy Share Image
As long as you represent me as praising alcohol I shall not complain. It is, I believe, the greatest of human inventions,… — H. L. Mencken Alcohol Copy Share Image
There are some people who read too much: the bibliobibuli. I know some who are constantly drunk on books, as other men… — H. L. Mencken Book Copy Share Image
The theory seems to be that as long as a man is a failure he is one of God's children, but that… — H. L. Mencken Children Copy Share Image
The idea that leisure is of value in itself is only conditionally true. The average man simply spends his leisure as a… — H. L. Mencken Copy Share Image
Why writers write I do not know. As well ask why a hen lays an egg or why a cow stands patiently… — H. L. Mencken Copy Share Image
The Jews fastened their religion upon the Western world, not because it was more reasonable than the religions of their contemporaries -… — H. L. Mencken Atheism Copy Share Image
It reminds me of a string of wet sponges; it reminds me of tattered washing on the line; it reminds me of… — H. L. Mencken Abyss Copy Share Image
Good government is that which delivers the citizen from being done out of his life and property too arbitrarily and violently-one that… — H. L. Mencken Copy Share Image
As long as the Southern colleges have revivals on their campuses and students get converted to Methodism and join the YMCA and… — H. L. Mencken Copy Share Image
What I got in Sunday school ... was simply a firm conviction that the Christian faith was full of palpable absurdities, and… — H. L. Mencken Absurdity Copy Share Image
Of all the human qualities, the one I admire the most is competence. A tailor who is really able to cut and… — H. L. Mencken Copy Share Image
Five years of Prohibition have had, at least, this one benign effect: they have completely disposed of all the favorite arguments of… — H. L. Mencken Amendments Copy Share Image
All American wars (except the Civil War) have been fought with the odds overwhelmingly in favor of the Americans. In the history… — H. L. Mencken Adversaries Copy Share Image
A metaphysician is one who, when you remark that twice two makes four, demands to know what you mean by twice, what… — H. L. Mencken Copy Share Image
Life without sex might be safer but it would be unbearably dull — H. L. Mencken Blue moon Copy Share Image
Women have a hard enough time in this world: telling them the truth would be too cruel. — H. L. Mencken Copy Share Image
It is impossible to believe that the same God who permitted His own son to die a bachelor regards celibacy as an… — H. L. Mencken Bachelors Copy Share Image
Progress: The process whereby the human race has got rid of whiskers, the vermiform appendix, and God. — H. L. Mencken Appendix Copy Share Image
Whenever "A" attempts by law to impose his moral standards upon "B," "A" is most likely a scoundrel. — H. L. Mencken Character Copy Share Image
The curse of man, and the cause of nearly all his woe, is his stupendous capacity for believing the incredible. — H. L. Mencken Copy Share Image
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