I'm such a lazy traveler. When I go to a city now, I hang out around the venue. I'm boring. — Bert Kreischer Copy Share Image
There are days where I'm like, 'Oh, my God, I'm so happy I'm living the life I'm living.' — Bert Kreischer Copy Share Image
It's not hard to find the energy to do the things you absolutely want to do. — Bert Kreischer Copy Share Image
My personality has gotten me some really good job interviews in New York. — Bert Kreischer Copy Share Image
I did nine years with Travel Channel and had all of these incredible experiences. — Bert Kreischer Experiences Copy Share Image
I'm the guy who needs to be front and center. I joined a fraternity to do that. — Bert Kreischer Copy Share Image
I'm a big believer in saying things out loud, I think he that helps you focus your goals. — Bert Kreischer Copy Share Image
There is nothing that I'm more compelled to do than get up in front of a crowd and make people laugh. — Bert Kreischer Comedy Copy Share Image
I run into guys all the time that say, 'Me and my three buddies started fat shaming each other and we collectively… — Bert Kreischer Copy Share Image
I'd love to be a movie star. That'd be great. But I lost the looks awhile ago. They slipped right through my… — Bert Kreischer Copy Share Image
Some of the most fun I've ever had has been filming 'Bert the Conqueror.' As a stand-up comedian, I love putting this… — Bert Kreischer Adventure Copy Share Image
I grew up Catholic and still feel a lot of Catholic guilt. But my wife is not religious so we're not raising… — Bert Kreischer Catholic Copy Share Image
When people think of New York, they don't automatically think of going to Chelsea Piers and Pier 40, where you're going to… — Bert Kreischer Copy Share Image
My father grew up in Levittown, L.I., in the first tract housing built for G.I.'s. His dad had stormed the beaches of… — Bert Kreischer Dad Copy Share Image
I need someone to be like, 'I can beat Bert in a marathon.' And then my Mickey Mantle genes will kick in… — Bert Kreischer Copy Share Image
I'm a comedian. I want you to laugh. That's my main goal. I punch things up to get things tighter, quicker and… — Bert Kreischer Comedian Copy Share Image
I read some older books when I worked at Barnes And Noble, like some of the American classics. I read a lot… — Bert Kreischer Copy Share Image
Here's the weird thing about me. I was never one to tell you stories about me. I was always the guy who… — Bert Kreischer Copy Share Image
I was in New York City and my sister and cousin came out to see me, and I brought a guitar on… — Bert Kreischer City Copy Share Image
No matter how successful I may get, I'll always be a failed musician, sitting at a concert double-fisting overpriced twenty-ounce beers, wishing… — Bert Kreischer Copy Share Image
Part of my personality is I like to have a good time and I'm an extrovert, and extroverts, they blossom as meathead… — Bert Kreischer Blossom Copy Share Image
I adopted a motto: Never say no. Jim Morrison never said no, Kurt Cobain never said no. You couldn't have great things… — Bert Kreischer Copy Share Image
My second freshman year of college, that's year two of seven, my father got very sick and though he was going to… — Bert Kreischer Birthday Copy Share Image
I was in an ESPN interview and was asked, 'Who would I most want to ride a roller coaster with?' and I… — Bert Kreischer Girl Copy Share Image
