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I remember at that time I went to the hairdresser's. I did…

“I remember at that time I went to the hairdresser's. I did this regularly, but I remember that visit for two particular reasons. The first was that next to me was a young mother with a little girl aged about three. The child, whose hair was about to be cut for the first time, screamed with terror…” quote by Anita Brookner
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““I remember at that time I went to the hairdresser's. I did this regularly, but I remember that visit for two particular reasons. The first was that next to me was a young mother with a little girl aged about three. The child, whose hair was about to be cut for the first time, screamed with terror and clung to her mother. The hairdresser stood by gravely, comb in hand: he recognised that this was a serious moment. The mother, blushing, tried to comfort the child who had suddenly plunged into despair; all around the shop women smiled in sympathy. What impressed me, and what I particularly remember, was the child's passionate attempt to re-enter her mother, the arms locked around the woman's neck, the terrified cries of unending love. So dangerous is it to be so close! I had tears in my eyes, witnessing that bond, seeing that closeness, of which only a sorrowful memory remained in my own life. One loses the capacity to grieve as a child grieves, or to rage as a child rages: hotly, despairingly, with tears of passion. One grows up, one becomes civilised, one learns one's manners, and consequently can no longer manage these two functions - sorrow and anger - adequately.””

Anita Brookner

About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

The passage reflects on how adult civilization dampens the raw, intense emotions of childhood grief and anger, using a hairdresser scene to illustrate lost capacity for passionate feeling.

In simple terms: Adults lose the intense, unfiltered grief and rage of children.

Key Takeaway

Reclaim emotional honesty.

Themes

emotions childhood civilization grief anger

Mood

nostalgic reflective melancholic

Type

literary philosophical emotional

When to use this quote

  • parenting
  • therapy
  • personal reflection
  • artistic expression

Key Concepts

psychology emotional development social conditioning

Questions to Reflect On

  • How can adults safely reconnect with their childlike emotional intensity?
  • What practices help balance civility with authentic feeling?
A Different Perspective

Children express grief and anger more openly, but adults often suppress these feelings.

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