I have only one moral precept; never smoke more than five cigars at a time. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Loyalty to the Nation all the time, loyalty to the Government when it deserves it. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Old habits cannot be thrown out the upstairs window. They have to be coaxed downstairs one step at a time. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Every time I read a Jane Austen novel, I feel like a bartender at the gates of heaven. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Don't live in the past, don't ponder about the future, stay at the PRESENT moment NOW...always. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do day after tomorrow just as well. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The human race was always interesting and we know by its past that it will always continue so, monotonously. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
It is sound judgment to put on a bold face and play your hand for a hundred times what it is worth;… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I have thought many times since that if poets when they get discouraged would blow their brains out, they could write very… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
To arrive at a just estimate of a renowned man's character one must judge it by the standards of his time, not… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“In another moment he was flying down the street with his pail and a tingling rear, Tom was whitewashing with vigor, and… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
If we read the words and attitudes of the past through the pompous "wisdom" of the considered moral judgments of the present,… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The time to begin writing an article is when you have finished it to your satisfaction. By that time you begin to… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“Health is a habit, and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs a step at… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
It is sound statesmanship to add two battleships every time our neighbour adds one and two stories to our skyscrapers every time… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“It is my prayer, it is my longing, that we may pass from this life together—a longing which shall never perish from… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The motto stated a lie. If this nation has ever trusted in God, that time has gone by; for nearly half a… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Next you'd see a raft sliding by, away off yonder, and maybe a galoot on it chopping. . . you'd see the… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The castle-building habit, the day-dreaming habit - how it grows! what a luxury it becomes; how we fly to its enchantments at… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
There will never be a "perfect" time to quit smoking. A time when you don't have any distractions or stress... If you… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I have spent most of my time worrying about things that have never happened. Worrying is not an action! In fact, it… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“When I am come to mine own again, I will always honor little children, remembering how that these trusted me and believed… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“When a man's dog turns against him it is time for a wife to pack her trunk and go home to mama.” — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
When the time comes that a man has had his dinner, then the true man comes to the surface — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“All the memories in the world, good or bad, are not worth one slender hope for the future; and” — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
If we would learn what the human race really is at bottom, we need only observe it in election times. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
To place man properly at the present time, he stands somewhere between the angels and the French. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
A lie can make it half way around the world before the truth has time to put its boots on. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I never smoke to excess - that is, I smoke in moderation, only one cigar at a time. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The lie, as a virtue, a principle, is eternal; the lie, as a recreation, a solace, a refuge in time of need,… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
In early times some sufferer had to sit up with a toothache, and he put in the time inventing the German language. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“Herodotus says, "Very few things happen at the right time, and the rest do not happen at all: the conscientious historian will… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
One thing at a time, is my motto - and just play that thing for all it is worth, even if it's… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth. — Mark Twain Copy Share
If you had made the acquiring of ignorance the study of your life, you could not have graduated with higher honor than you could… — Mark Twain Copy Share
“The Creator sat upon the throne, thinking. Behind him stretched the illimitable continent of heaven, steeped in a glory of light and color; before… — Mark Twain Copy Share
A man accustomed to American food and American domestic cookery would not starve to death suddenly in Europe, but I think he would gradually… — Mark Twain Copy Share
I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get… — Mark Twain Copy Share
The higher animals get their teeth without pain or inconvenience. Man gets his through months and months of cruel torture; he will never get… — Mark Twain Copy Share
“As far as I can see, Italy, for fifteen hundred years, has turned all her energies, all her finances, and all her industry to… — Mark Twain Copy Share
Many public-school children seem to know only two dates—1492 and 4th of July; and as a rule they don't know what happened on either… — Mark Twain Copy Share
If we could imagine such a man, that is a man who could invent the fly and send him out on his mission and… — Mark Twain Copy Share
You perceive, now, that these things are all impossible except in a dream. You perceive that they are pure and puerile insanities, the silly… — Mark Twain Copy Share
Lord save us all from a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. — Mark Twain Copy Share
