A bank in Washington was robbed by two men in George W. Bush masks. Luckily, right afterwards two guys in President Obama… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
According to a new poll, nearly six out of 10 Republicans want Mitt Romney to run for president. So do 10 out of 10 Democrats. — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
President Obama has pledged $3 billion to aid poor nations. All of that $3 billion is going to the United States. — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Newly released transcripts reveal that President Nixon was drunk during the Arab-Israeli crisis of 1973. After hearing this, President Bush said, 'Hey,… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Yesterday was the New York City Marathon. The marathon was won in record time by a Democrat candidate running away from President… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
President Obama filled in as the coach of his daughter Sasha's basketball team. Sasha evidently listened to her Dad, because all she… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Republicans are already trying to paint Hillary Clinton as too old to be president. In fact, a new ad claims she’s so… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Just days after Mitt Romney suggested he might run for president, there's been a backlash. The backlash is led by Jeb Bush,… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Donald Trump refuses to give details about his policy plans. Trump apologized by saying, 'When I announced I was running for president,… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
The turkey that President Obama will pardon this Thanksgiving is from California. The turkey said, "I don't need a pardon. I need… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
A lawyer from Africa wants to marry Malia Obama in exchange for goats, sheep, and cows. In response, President Obama said, 'Don't… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Hillary Clinton is not the first woman to run for president. That title belongs to Victoria Woodhull, who ran for president in… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Promoting his new book, President Bush visited the headquarters of Facebook. Unfortunately, he spent the whole visit on Farmville, clearing brush. — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Patriots quarterback Tom Brady says he thinks it would be great if Donald Trump was president. Which is really weird because I… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
At the state dinner for Chinese President Hu Jintao, Hu opened a fortune cookie that said, 'You will lend us another trillion… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Donald Trump is not running for president. This is devastating news for Trump's supporters - all of whom are late night comedians. — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Today President Obama is in the Middle East. He met the new king of Saudi Arabia. Obama also met Saudi Arabia's first… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
A federal court has ruled that the U.S. Postal Service must reduce its stamp prices. The change in stamp prices is expected to affect… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share
NBC is making a movie about Martha Stewart that will cover the recent stock scandal. They are thinking of calling it 'The Road To… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share
People should say 'no comment' more often. No comment! I love no comment. Let's have more no comment. — Conan O'Brien Copy Share
A new study reveals that one-third of babies in the U.S. have used a smartphone. Yeah, and one-third of babies in China have MADE… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share
Martha Stewart showed up at Manhattan FBI Headquarters to have her finger prints taken and pose for a mug shot. Then Martha explained how… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share
The big story today, Barack Obama was accused of insulting Sarah Palin when he criticized Republican policies by saying, you can put lipstick on… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share
LEGO has announced that they are shutting down their U.S. factory and moving it to Canada. LEGO employees say it's their fault because they… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share
A new survey reveals that women would rather give up sex than give up the remote control for the TV. Men, on the other… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share
Yesterday the DEA raided several NFL teams suspected of giving prescription painkillers to their players. In its defense, the New York Jets' doctor said,… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share
President Obama gave a speech about healthcare tonight, and yesterday he gave a pep talk to students. He told them that in order to… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share
The first thing men notice about a woman is her eyes. Then, when her eyes aren't looking, they notice her breasts. — Conan O'Brien Copy Share
“Disappointment leads to clarity, which leads to conviction and true originality.” — Conan O'Brien Copy Share
John Travolta said he sometimes lets his friends take control of his airplane even though they don't know what they're doing. Then Travolta said… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share
President Obama filled in as the coach of his daughter Sasha's basketball team. Sasha evidently listened to her Dad, because all she did was… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share
President Obama and Vladimir Putin are both in China attending the same economic summit. Obama saw Putin and said, 'After those midterms, it's nice… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share
