I don't know why people get so bent out of shape over stuff people say. — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
If guns kill people, I can blame misspelled words on my pencil. — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
I get so sick and tired of Wikipedia. People write their own crap on there. — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
Guns don't kill people, husbands who come home early from work kill people — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
Blaming guns for killing people is like blaming pencils for bad spelling — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
I don't take myself too seriously. I enjoy what I do. I enjoy making people laugh. — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
I don't judge people by their accent, or how they word things, or how grammatically correct their speech is. Some of the… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
People always ask my mom what I did as a kid. My mom says, "He wasn't a bad kid. He was never… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
It's nice if people can finally loosen up a little bit and just go out laugh at silliness. I mean, people take… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
I've always felt that if you've been blessed, you should try to help as many people as you can. I just think… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
I've been fortunate, I've been blessed, and I attribute my success to all my fans. People want to do things with you… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
Its nice if people can finally loosen up a little bit and just go out laugh at silliness. I mean, people take… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
Even before I did stand-up, I've always been the kind of guy - and I talk about it on stage - who… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
I THINK ITS COOL THAT OTHER CROWDS LIKE WHAT I DO. HOWEVER IVE ALWAYS HAD A GOOD MIX OF PEOPLE AT MY… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
What I do onstage, there's maybe .0001 percent of the population that acts like that. I talk like that because it makes… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
I don't do my show for critics. Early on I did, because I'm a nice guy and I like to be liked… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
Even after the Super Bowl victory of the New Orleans Saints, I have noticed a large number of people implying, with bad… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
I don't really get to see a lot of other comedians, because I work with the same people all the time. The… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
I think probably one of the coolest things was when I went to play basketball at Rucker Park in Harlem. First of… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
When I started doing my act, I wasn't married and didn't have kids. I was probably 29 years old. Some people say… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
Sanford is a little redneck town north of Orlando. It's right off Lake Jessup.Lake Jessup is the most alligator infested lake in… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
MY ACT IS 'NOTHING BUT COMEDY. I TALK SOUTHERN BECAUSE I PICKED IT UP WHEN I MOVED TO THE SOUTH. IM NOT… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
You learn a lot though when you have kids, I'll tell you what. Did you know when a baby poops its diapers, you're not… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share
When you're doing comedy, it is so subjective. What is funny to you is not funny to another person. What is dirty to you… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share
People always ask my mom what I did as a kid. My mom says, "He wasn't a bad kid. He was never an unruly… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share
There's the old joke, "What's the difference between country and redneck? Well, that's three hundred dollars." — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share
I had a buddy of mine call up the other day, all upset 'cause he slept with his third cousin. And I'm like, Man,… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share
I've been down in Florida since 1979. When you're born in Nebraska you really can't explain it. — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share
I've been fortunate, I've been blessed, and I attribute my success to all my fans. People want to do things with you when you… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share
As a comedian, I don't know if they're laughing because it's funny or if they're laughing at me because I'm not funny. And I'm… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share
I LOVE WAL-MART. I CONSIDER MY JOKES TO BE VERY JEUVINILLE. STUFF A 14 YEAR OLD WOULD LAUGH AT BECAUSE THATS THE SENCE OF… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share
I was born and raised in Pawnee City, Nebraska. I lived right next to the sale barn and I raised pigs. My dad was… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share
What I do onstage, there's maybe .0001 percent of the population that acts like that. I talk like that because it makes me laugh,… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share
I don't take myself too seriously. I enjoy what I do. I enjoy making people laugh. — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share
I don't have a lot of recreation time. I've always been under the assumption that if you're selling tickets you need to work. The… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share
THE ONLY GOOD THING IS MY FANS LIKE ME AND COME TO SEE ME AND THATS ALL THAT MATTERS. EVERYBODY ELSE CAN KISS MY… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share
