We have become a sloppy bunch of people. We say things we don’t mean. We make promises we don’t keep. — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
People don't admire you for what you hate, they admire you for what you do about it, and your slacks. — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
But he was so great!' Yes, and the people who got on the Titanic thought they were going on a vacation — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
I get giddy with the idea of stringing words together that make people laugh. — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
People are inspired to do remarkable things to find and be with the one they love. — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
It's time to stop pretending I'm ok with things I'm not ok with like all insects and Foster the People. — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
Two people in a relationship either grow together or apart over time. — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
I don't have a massive fan base. I don't have Patton Oswalt numbers, but the fan base I have is incredibly generous,… — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
Sometimes people change their minds, sometimes they meet someone else, sometimes they get sober, and sometimes he was just a jerk who… — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
People say get a job doing something you love. So far no one has offered to hire me to eat Whoppers with… — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
I don't have to edit myself. I get to be me, warts and all, and that's ultimately what people want, and to… — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
There are only so many ways to get people to go see stand-up, that it really is about the product; it's not… — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
Don't idolize anyone if you can. You know, be inspired by people, certainly, but don't idolize people... Because they'll let you down. — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
Most comics worship music on some level. It's more rock-n-roll to get up there for an hour and make people laugh. — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
I always tell people it's funny that they think I'm a relationship expert because my two books are about getting out of… — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
Most authors writing books like 'He's Just Not That Into You' dream of doing what I was being asked to do. I… — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
I rarely sit down to write something. I usually have an experience and relate it to somebody and go, 'There I connected… — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
There will never be a good time, financially, to get married, unless you're Shaq or Ray Romano. But somehow people manage. If… — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
I don't know if you know you're funny, but you enjoy being funny. I know I'm funny because people tell me I… — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
Let's call cheating what it is: a complete betrayal of trust. Cheaters are people who have a lot of stuff to work… — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
Social media is a really cool way to tell your story to people who are interested in hearing it. It's not getting… — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
Cheaters are people who have a lot of stuff to work out, and they're working it out on your time and with… — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
This life is yours and no one else's, and if you spend your time looking at other people's pages, you'll never get… — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
Most people don't want to leave their wife and children behind but many people seem to want to take leave of themselves. — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
Personally, when I'm picking friends, I like the ones who don't make me cry myself to sleep. — Greg Behrendt Copy Share
So, I'm 34. I'm kind of becoming an adult - kind of, I guess. But I know that I am because, the other day,… — Greg Behrendt Copy Share
Don’t be flattered that he misses you. He should miss you. You are deeply missable. However, he’s still the same person who just broke… — Greg Behrendt Copy Share
The best thing that can happen in a relationship is when you are the same person you were before the relationship started. You are… — Greg Behrendt Copy Share
The reason it's so painful when someone disappears is you have to face the fact that the person you loved had probably left you… — Greg Behrendt Copy Share
Cheaters are people who have a lot of stuff to work out, and they're working it out on your time and with your heart. — Greg Behrendt Copy Share
I do think that you can dress yourself out of a problem. The way that a haircut and a new pair of pants can… — Greg Behrendt Copy Share
We're taught that in life, we should try to look on the bright side. Not in this case. In this case, assume rejection first.… — Greg Behrendt Copy Share
I don't have to edit myself. I get to be me, warts and all, and that's ultimately what people want, and to trust each… — Greg Behrendt Copy Share
He's just not that into you if he's not asking you out. Because if he likes you, trust me, he will ask you out. — Greg Behrendt Copy Share
Lying, cheating, hiding is the exact opposite of the behavior of a man who's really into you. — Greg Behrendt Copy Share
I've never tried to pass myself off as anything more than a comedian who wrote a dating book. — Greg Behrendt Copy Share
People are inspired to do remarkable things to find and be with the one they love. — Greg Behrendt Copy Share
