Just because we're fictional characters doesn't mean you can pick us up and move us anywhere you want.--the people of Lake Woebegon — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
I grew up in a fundamentalist protestant family that stressed that we were a select people and so we were to avoid… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
No matter what time of year I come here, people always say the same thing: Its not usually like this. — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
A boy wrote me once to say that he loved it when the news from Lake Wobegon came on the radio because… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
Librarians, Dusty, possess a vast store of politeness. These are people who get asked regularly the dumbest questions on God's green earth.… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
The greatness of America is that it produces exuberant geniuses like Louis Armstrong and Fred Astaire and Leonard Bernstein. We are meant… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
People meet writers and are bowled over when the writer is friendly to them and invites them to his house for a… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
You now have learned enough to see That Cats are much like you and me And other people whom we find Possessed… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny. — Garrison Keillor Copy Share
The socially redeeming aspect of golf lies in the vast number of lawyers and bankers and managers who play it, and when you think… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share
Ha! Easy for nuns to talk about giving up things. That's what they do for a living. — Garrison Keillor Copy Share
Before the world was made, when it was only darkness and mist and waters, God was well aware of Lake Wobegon, my family, our… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share
On investments, 1998: Where I'm from we don't trust paper. Wealth is what's here on the premises. If I open a cupboard and see,… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share
“The rich can afford to be progressive. Poor people have reason to be afraid of the future.” — Garrison Keillor Copy Share
English is the perfect language for preachers because it allows you to talk until you think of what to say. — Garrison Keillor Copy Share
“If you can't read a simple goddam sign and follow one simple goddam instruction then get your fat butt the hell out of here.” — Garrison Keillor Copy Share
“The Gospel is meant to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.” — Garrison Keillor Copy Share
I have taken so many wrong turns and been so careless with precious things and managed to lose, or break, or leave out in… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share
Where I'm from we don't trust paper. Wealth is what's here on the premises. If I open a cupboard and see, say, thirty cans… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share
