People sometimes say how standup is so hard, and I always tell them that it's hard at the beginning. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
When opportunity knocks all some people can do is complain about the noise. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
you know... there is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time… husband!!! — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
If a President must constantly remind the people that we're at war, then we're not. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
You can't pray away global warming, and that's the difference between religious people and sane people. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
New Rule: The people of America who were most in favor of the Iraq War must now go there and fight it. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Again, (America is) a stupid country with stupid people who don't pay attention. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
People have to stop saying that just because someone is an anti-gay activist they might be gay. They're DEFINITELY GAY!! — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
We are a nation that is unenlightened because of religion. I do believe that. I think religion stops people from thinking. I… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Republicans are obsessed with abortion...if they really wanted to protect the weakest, most helpless people, wouldn't they protect the Democrats? — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
During the Depression, or back when we were fighting Hitler, people didn't have time to sue a company if the coffee was… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
To those people who say, 'My father is alive because of animal experimentation,' I say, 'Yeah, well, good for you. This dog… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I want to see riots! I want to see the kind of riots where cab drivers are afraid to pick up white… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Nobody in America who wants pot has any trouble getting it, so maybe that's why we aren't seeing support for legalization. People… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
It's not getting any better for the American people. It seems to be getting worse. That's predictable; education is a cycle. Stupidity… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Reverend Ted Haggard's followers still think he's not gay. I'm not kidding. In their world, there are no gay people. There are… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I always say people would rather be nice than right. I like to be nice too, but come on. People frequently ask… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
The people [in the USA] are not very well informed. They certainly don't know history. They certainly are not interested in foreign… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
People say to me all the time, "I get my news from your show." And that isn't the way they should get… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Rational people, anti-religionists, must end their timidity and come out of the closet and assert themselves. And those who consider themselves only… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
The Founding Fathers were more deists. If you had to categorize them as anything. There was some sort of moving prime force.… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
People on the right say to people like me, Oh, you hate America. And I always say, No, I love America. I… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
To even win a nomination in this country, you have to say you're a person of great faith. You have to pledge… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
There are people who think everything is a conspiracy and I think they're crazy. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Not a lot of people know about Tunisia. Sarah Palin thinks it's the name of one of Obama's kids. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Every time somebody says 'Islamophobia' it gives the people who are intimidating cover. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I am so tired of rearranging my life around what the stupidest people might do. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
In ten Muslim countries you can get the death penalty just for being gay. If they were chopping the heads off of… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Theyre talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place thats used by ten or more people in a week, which, I… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Wichita Falls, Texas is considering using toilet water for drinking. And a dog there today said, 'White people's problems.' — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I didn't really think a lot about religion, but I didn't really think a lot against it, either. I was one of… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
In an average moral universal society, good people will try to do the right thing, and psychotic people will do wicked things.… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
The NYPD must stop acting like the only thing black people do is run from them and shoot at them. Believe it… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Bush the younger has two things going for him that his father never had. One: an easy charm with regular people and… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
You can behead people, you can crucify them, you can cut their hearts out and eat them on YouTube...but, don't screw with… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Jesus, as a philosopher is wonderful. There's no greater role model, in my view, than Jesus Christ. It's just a shame that… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
When you get people who are out of office, suddenly their tongues loosen up and suddenly they say the things that you… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Unemployment is down, confidence is up, DOW 5,000 above Bush - or as Republicans put it, let's talk about gay people and abortion! — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
A lot of people say they are dyslexic; some have to realize that they are just stupid. — Bill Maher Copy Share
I saw this anti-drug commercial that showed a kid smoking pot in his dad's room with his friend. This kid finds a gun, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share
To all conservative women out there: If you are so sure the embryo needed for stem cell research are precious human life that can't… — Bill Maher Copy Share
You see, the difference is the Republicans' hatred of Obama is based on a paranoid feeling about what he might do, what he's thinking,… — Bill Maher Copy Share
New Rule: There is no devil, so stop blaming your screw-ups on him. Last week, one of the biggest evangelical leaders in America, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share
“New Rule: The White House doesn't have to release the dead Bin Laden photos, but don't pretend we can't take it. We've seen pictures… — Bill Maher Copy Share
I don't hate America. I love America. I want it to be better. The only way we can get it to be better is… — Bill Maher Copy Share
“New Rule: Americans must realize what makes NFL football so great: socialism. That's right, the NFL takes money from the rich teams and gives… — Bill Maher Copy Share
So many kids are fat drug addicts these days, it's almost as if Rush Limbaugh had puppies. — Bill Maher Copy Share
What we don't know is about Jeb Bush and cocaine. But we do know that he did once had his brother Florida on a… — Bill Maher Copy Share
“I find that the world is changing much, much faster than I can even bitch about it.” — Bill Maher Copy Share
![“The people [in the USA] are not very well informed. They certainly don't know history. They certainly are not interested in foreign affairs very much, unless it comes right to their doorstep. They all learn history through wars. They learn geography through wars.” quote by Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/q/img-quotes/fb2/bill-maher-211_affair_the-people-in-the-usa-are-not-very-well_2551709.png)
