Unconditional parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason — Alfie Kohn Copy Share Image
“Like any other tool for facilitating the completion of a questionable task, rewards offer a "how" answer to what is really a… — Alfie Kohn Copy Share Image
You have to give them unconditional love. They need to know that even if they screw up, you love them. You don't… — Alfie Kohn Copy Share Image
“The more we want our children to be (1) lifelong learners, genuinely excited about words and numbers and ideas, (2) avoid sticking… — Alfie Kohn Copy Share Image
“Many of our elected officials have virtually handed the keys to our schools over to corporate interests. Presidential commissions on education are… — Alfie Kohn Copy Share Image
“My advice is to make a point of apologizing to your child about something at least twice a month. Why twice a… — Alfie Kohn Copy Share Image
In short, with each of the thousand-and-one problems that present themselves in family life, our choice is between controlling and teaching, between… — Alfie Kohn Copy Share Image
“Even before i had children, I knew that being a parent was going to be challenging as well as rewarding. But I… — Alfie Kohn Copy Share Image
“In my experience, most parents sincerely want their children to be assertive, independent thinkers who are unafraid to stand their ground .… — Alfie Kohn Copy Share Image
“It’s been said that the personal is political, and there’s no doubt that parenting is intensely personal. To argue against traditional ways… — Alfie Kohn Copy Share Image
“Many of our elected officials have virtually handed the keys to our schools over to corporate interests. Presidential commissions on education are commonly chaired… — Alfie Kohn Copy Share
“a grade can be regarded only as an inadequate report of an inaccurate judgment by a biased and variable judge of the extent to… — Alfie Kohn Copy Share
In some suburban schools, the curriculum is chock-full of rigorous A.P. courses and the parking lot glitters with pricey SUVs, but one doesn't have… — Alfie Kohn Copy Share
Standardized testing has swelled and mutated, like a creature in one of those old horror movies, to the point that it now threatens to… — Alfie Kohn Copy Share
If a child is off-task...mayb e the problem is not the child...maybe it's the task. — Alfie Kohn Copy Share
If unconditional love and genuine enthusiasm are present, praise isn't necessary. If they're absent, praise won't help. — Alfie Kohn Copy Share
Most of us would protest that of course we love our children without any strings attached. But what counts is how things look from… — Alfie Kohn Copy Share
What can we surmise about the likelihood of someone's being caring and generous, loving and helpful, just from knowing that they are a believer?… — Alfie Kohn Copy Share
Punishment and reward proceed from basically the same psychological model, one that conceives of motivation as nothing more than the manipulation of behavior. — Alfie Kohn Copy Share
Each time I visit such a classroom, where the teacher is more interested in creating a democratic community than in maintaining her position of… — Alfie Kohn Copy Share
Educators remind us that what counts in a classroom is not what the teacher teaches; it’s what the learner learns. — Alfie Kohn Copy Share
In short, with each of the thousand-and-one problems that present themselves in family life, our choice is between controlling and teaching, between creating an… — Alfie Kohn Copy Share
To control students is to force them to accommodate to a preestablished curriculum. — Alfie Kohn Copy Share
“But as I mastered the material, homework ceased to be necessary. A no homework policy is a challenge to me," he adds. "I am… — Alfie Kohn Copy Share
