For most couples who come to me - especially in the aftermath of the revelation of an affair, when they are in… — Esther Perel Copy Share Image
“Eventually, if desire withers, monogamy too easily slides downward into celibacy. When this happens, fidelity becomes a weakness rather than a virtue.” — Esther Perel Copy Share Image
Trouble looms when monogamy is no longer a free expression of loyalty but a form of enforced compliance. — Esther Perel Copy Share Image
I believe that the vast majority of people that are unfaithful are monogamous in their beliefs. The ones who are not monogamous… — Esther Perel Copy Share Image
Sometimes it has to do with other longings that are much more existential. Sometimes you go elsewhere not because you are not liking the… — Esther Perel Copy Share
“For [erotically intelligent couples], love is a vessel that contains both security and adventure, and commitment offers one of the great luxuries of life:… — Esther Perel Copy Share
It’s hard to feel attracted to someone who has abandoned her sense of autonomy. — Esther Perel Copy Share
For some people, a one-night stand doesn't make any difference in a seven-year love affair. I don't believe the degree of betrayal is always… — Esther Perel Copy Share
I want to engage people in an honest, enlightened, and provocative conversation about the nature of erotic desire and the intricacies of intimacy and… — Esther Perel Copy Share
“The quality of your life ultimately depends on the quality of your relationships . . . which are basically a reflection of your sense… — Esther Perel Copy Share
If you start to feel that you have given up too many parts of yourself to be with your partner, then one day you… — Esther Perel Copy Share
“I regret to say that we of the FBI are powerless to act in cases of oral-genital intimacy, unless it has in some way… — Esther Perel Copy Share
On some level we trade passion for security, that's trading one illusion for another. It's a matter of degree. We can't live in constant… — Esther Perel Copy Share
“When the impulse to share becomes obligatory, when personal boundaries are no longer respected, when only the shared space of togetherness is acknowledged and… — Esther Perel Copy Share
“I do believe that the emphasis on egalitarian and respectful sex—purged of any expressions of power, aggression, and transgression—is antithetical to erotic desire for… — Esther Perel Copy Share
“If intimacy grows through repetition and familiarity, eroticism is numbed by repetition. It thrives on the mysterious, the novel, and the unexpected. Love is… — Esther Perel Copy Share
“She’s beautiful, too, did I mention that? She lives the life I didn’t live. I feel middle-age and middle-class around her. Nothing wrong with… — Esther Perel Copy Share
In dating, if you say no, your lover goes on to the next person. In marriage, if you say no, the person stays. — Esther Perel Copy Share
