I could have become a soldier if I had waited; I knew more about retreating than the man who invented retreating. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Men are like bank accounts. The more money, the more interest they generate. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
They do say that when a man starts down hill everybody is ready to help him with a kick, and I suppose… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Armor is heavy, yet it is a proud burden, and a man standeth straight in it. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
in order to make a man or boy covet a thing, it is only necessary to make the thing difficult to attain. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
S'pose a man was to come to you and say Pollyvoo-franzy - what would you think? — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
It is easy to find fault, if one has that disposition. There was once a man who, not being able to find… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
We had an abundance of mangoes, papaias and bananas here, but the pride of the islands, the most delicious fruit known to… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
It is agreed, in this country, that if a man can arrange his religion so that it perfectly satisfies his conscience, it… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
A man can be a Christian or a patriot, but he can't legally be a Christian and a patriot - except in… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
We have infinite trouble in solving man-made mysteries; it is only when we set out to discover "the secret of God" that… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
If there is one thing that is really cheerful in the world, it is cheerfulness. I have noticed it often. And I… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
So far as I am able to judge, nothing has been left undone, either by man or nature, to make India the… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
My mind changes often ... People who have no mind can easily be steadfast and firm, but when a man is loaded… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
As I have said before, I never had any large respect for good spelling. That is my feeling yet. Before the spelling-book… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The statesmen will invent cheap lies, putting the blame upon the nation that is attacked, and every man will be glad of… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
All men have heard of the Mormon Bible, but few except the "elect" have seen it, or, at least, taken the trouble… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Solomon, who was one of the Deity's favorites, had a copulation cabinet composed of seven hundred wives and three hundred concubines. To… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
A man who keeps company with glaciers comes to feel tolerably insignificiant by and by. The Alps and the glaciers together are… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also. I… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Word it as softly as you please, the spirit of patriotism is the spirit of the dog and wolf. The moment there… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
He had an uncommon fondness for cats. As an old man summering in New Hampshire, Twain even rented kittens from a nearby… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
No man has an appreciation so various that his judgment is good upon all varieties of literary work. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
How unfortunate and how narrowing a thing it is for a man to have wealth who makes a god of it instead… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Dying man couldn't make up his mind which place to go to-both have their advantages, heaven for the climate, hell for the… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
An enemy can partly ruin a man, but it takes a good-natured injudicious friend to complete the thing and make it perfect. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
…try the mustard, - a man can't know what turnips are in perfection without mustard. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
A man who keeps company with glaciers comes to feel tolerably insignificant by and by. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Our heroes are men who do things which we recognize, with regret, and sometimes with a secret shame, that we cannot do. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Behind every successful man, there is a woman - And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
When a humorist ventures upon the grave concerns of life he must do his job better than another man or he works… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
When a man arrives at great prosperity God did it: when he falls into disaster he did it himself. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
When the time comes that a man has had his dinner, then the true man comes to the surface — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth. — Mark Twain Copy Share
If you had made the acquiring of ignorance the study of your life, you could not have graduated with higher honor than you could… — Mark Twain Copy Share
“The Creator sat upon the throne, thinking. Behind him stretched the illimitable continent of heaven, steeped in a glory of light and color; before… — Mark Twain Copy Share
A man accustomed to American food and American domestic cookery would not starve to death suddenly in Europe, but I think he would gradually… — Mark Twain Copy Share
I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get… — Mark Twain Copy Share
The higher animals get their teeth without pain or inconvenience. Man gets his through months and months of cruel torture; he will never get… — Mark Twain Copy Share
“As far as I can see, Italy, for fifteen hundred years, has turned all her energies, all her finances, and all her industry to… — Mark Twain Copy Share
Many public-school children seem to know only two dates—1492 and 4th of July; and as a rule they don't know what happened on either… — Mark Twain Copy Share
If we could imagine such a man, that is a man who could invent the fly and send him out on his mission and… — Mark Twain Copy Share
You perceive, now, that these things are all impossible except in a dream. You perceive that they are pure and puerile insanities, the silly… — Mark Twain Copy Share
Lord save us all from a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. — Mark Twain Copy Share
