Humorists of the 'mere' sort cannot survive. Humor is only a fragrance, a decoration. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
When a humorist ventures upon the grave concerns of life he must do his job better than another man or he works… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Once I talked to the inmates of an insane asylum in Hartford. I have talked to idiots a thousand times, but only… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
At 50, a man can be an ass without being an optimist but not an optimist without being an ass — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
It is the will of God that we must have critics and missionaries and congressmen and humorists, and we must bear the… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Well, my book is written-let it go. But if it were only to write over again there wouldn't be so many things… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I have a religion-but you will call it blasphemy. It is that there is a God for the rich man but none… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Alas! those good old days are gone, when a murderer could wipe the stain from his name and soothe his trouble to… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
But in this country we have one great privilege which they don't have in other countries. When a thing gets to be… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
It is the will of God that we must have critics, and missionaries, and Congressmen, and humorists, and we must bear the… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
A religion that comes of thought, and study, and deliberate conviction, sticks best. The revivalized convert who is scared in the direction… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The humorist who invented trial by jury played a colossal practical joke upon the world, but since we have the system we… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The proverb says, "Born lucky, always lucky," and I am very superstitious. As a small boy I was notoriously lucky. It was… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth. — Mark Twain Copy Share
If you had made the acquiring of ignorance the study of your life, you could not have graduated with higher honor than you could… — Mark Twain Copy Share
“The Creator sat upon the throne, thinking. Behind him stretched the illimitable continent of heaven, steeped in a glory of light and color; before… — Mark Twain Copy Share
A man accustomed to American food and American domestic cookery would not starve to death suddenly in Europe, but I think he would gradually… — Mark Twain Copy Share
I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get… — Mark Twain Copy Share
The higher animals get their teeth without pain or inconvenience. Man gets his through months and months of cruel torture; he will never get… — Mark Twain Copy Share
“As far as I can see, Italy, for fifteen hundred years, has turned all her energies, all her finances, and all her industry to… — Mark Twain Copy Share
Many public-school children seem to know only two dates—1492 and 4th of July; and as a rule they don't know what happened on either… — Mark Twain Copy Share
If we could imagine such a man, that is a man who could invent the fly and send him out on his mission and… — Mark Twain Copy Share
You perceive, now, that these things are all impossible except in a dream. You perceive that they are pure and puerile insanities, the silly… — Mark Twain Copy Share
Lord save us all from a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. — Mark Twain Copy Share
