“a man who was, as we say in the restaurant business, one taco short of a combo platter.” — Joan Bauer Copy Share Image
“There's a lot of cheese where you're going, Hope. I'm not sure how this affects people long term.” — Joan Bauer Copy Share Image
“COOK’S TIP: Bake every day. If you have to leave town fast, you’ll always have something good to eat in the car.” — Joan Bauer Copy Share Image
“To quote Shirley Polanski, head waitress at the Humdinger Diner: "Beware of a big man whose stomach doesn't move when he laughs."… — Joan Bauer Copy Share Image
“On cheap tippers:"Don't take it personally; they were deprived somehow as children. On low-fat entrees: "They sell well enough, but nobody's too… — Joan Bauer Copy Share Image
“What kind of kids live in Mulhoney, Wisconsin? Would they like me? Would I like them? Have they ever eaten sushi? That's… — Joan Bauer Copy Share Image
I'll tell you something about tough things. They just about kill you, but if you decide to keep working at them, you'll… — Joan Bauer Copy Share Image
Mom has the Touch. She knows what flowers go with what occasions, what hors d'oeuvres work with what people. She believes passionately… — Joan Bauer Copy Share Image
“now i believe that the way to anyone's heart is through their stomach, and, my boy, i'm here to tell you, we… — Joan Bauer Copy Share Image
Mom put dense cheddar bread into a bag for a man who said this was his wife's favorite - he'd driven all… — Joan Bauer Copy Share Image
“I reached into my bag and pulled out a pumpkin spice muffin with walnuts that was as moist as anything. "It can… — Joan Bauer Copy Share Image
“You need a negative charge and a positive one to get something moving. We've got the negative; we're going to find the positive if… — Joan Bauer Copy Share
“I watched that plant in the office every day. Watered it; misted it. I loved thinking about it like G.T. said, but part of… — Joan Bauer Copy Share
I'll tell you something about tough times. They just about kill you, but if you decide to keep working at them, you'll find your… — Joan Bauer Copy Share
“Why do you think, A.J.," they say in unison, "that you find these boys so attractive?" I didn't say that this fiery chemical explosion… — Joan Bauer Copy Share
“Millstone sputtered, "I don't know where you're getting your information, G.T., but that's as bogus as a barking cat!” — Joan Bauer Copy Share
“Mother, this is a confidential business discussion. I hardly think that your driver can add anything noteworthy." I could kick you in the stomach,… — Joan Bauer Copy Share
My father always told me that in this world we are going to make a truckload of mistakes, but the best mistake we can… — Joan Bauer Copy Share
“COOK’S TIP: Bake every day. If you have to leave town fast, you’ll always have something good to eat in the car.” — Joan Bauer Copy Share
Mom put dense cheddar bread into a bag for a man who said this was his wife's favorite - he'd driven all the way… — Joan Bauer Copy Share
“you’ve got to love yourself with all your shortcomings, and you’ve got to love the world, no matter how bad it gets.” Boy,” — Joan Bauer Copy Share
“I don’t want you to leap into another relationship without thinking. Looking for perfect is a big, fat myth because perfect isn’t out there.” — Joan Bauer Copy Share
Sometimes the best thing that can happen to a person is to have a puppy lick your face. — Joan Bauer Copy Share
“We've got so much in this life that all we know how to do is want more. So we concentrate on the wrong things--things… — Joan Bauer Copy Share
