Guy goes into a bar with a duck under his arm. Bartender says, "Where'd you get the pig?" Guy says, "This is… — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
I went to the butchers to buy a leg of lamb. "Is it Scotch?", I asked. "Why?" the butcher said in reply.… — Chic Murray Copy Share Image
Here's a little bit of good news. The Coast Guard says that BP is now catching up to 630,000 gallons of oil… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
My kids would come in from school and sit on the floor in front of the TV and line up duck call… — Kay Robertson Copy Share Image
In an ideal world, the intelligent investor would hold stocks only when they are cheap and sell them when they become overpriced,… — Benjamin Graham Copy Share Image
My parents are from a whole different culture. My parents are from small-town Louisiana. It's like, if it walk like a duck,… — Bun B Copy Share Image
Remember when you tried to convince me to feed a poultry pie to the mallards in the park to see if you… — Cassandra Clare Copy Share Image
We have the most liberal, the most leftist candidate who has ever run for president in my lifetime; he's a sitting duck.… — Rush Limbaugh Copy Share Image
I picked ducks in a tub in my dorm room. I'd hang deer in the doorway between the bedroom and the little… — Phil Robertson Copy Share Image
America is the original version of modernity. We are the dubbed or subtitled version. America ducks the question of origins; it cultivates… — Jean Baudrillard Copy Share Image
“The spruce and cedar on its shores, hung with gray lichens, looked at a distance like the ghosts of trees. Ducks were… — Henry David Thoreau Copy Share Image
I know this year hasn't gone as we'd all like it. But please, please, everyone do not forget about that 2013 season… — Jonny Gomes Copy Share Image
The ducks in St James's Park are so used to being fed bread by secret agents meeting clandestinely that they have developed… — Neil Gaiman Copy Share Image
“The first rule of snooping is to come at it sideways--when you began writing me dizzy letters about Alexander, I didn't ask… — Annie Barrows Copy Share Image
“Coaching is the only thing where the more someone else practices, the better you get. That’s my kind of hard work. People… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
I support people having a gun in public full stop, not just in your home. We don't have the right to bear… — Vince Vaughn Copy Share Image
John Kerry went duck hunting and he's doing that to fulfill his campaign pledge to hunt down the ducks and kill them… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
Women who start out as ugly ducklings don't become beautiful swans. What they mainly become is confident ducks. They take charge of… — Maeve Binchy Copy Share Image
Foie gras is sold as an expensive delicacy in some restaurants and shops. But no one pays a higher price for foie… — Kate Winslet Copy Share Image
“For better sleep tonight, pre-order your duck fight today. It’ll give your pillow the energy you need to power slumber through to… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
Then I lost him for a brief period of time, and by the time I caught up with him, he had wandered… — Cassandra Clare Copy Share Image
“My ducks give me eggs, and I took two of those eggs and nurtured them under a dome to produce two ducklings.… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“He couldn't be serious and stern with a man who had ducklings in his hair, or who talked to baby birds like… — Cat Sebastian Copy Share Image
Bollywood directors are like cricketers where in one match you score a century, and in the next match, you are out for… — Sunny Deol Copy Share Image
Santa Claus was white and everything bad was black. The little ugly duckling was the black duck, and the black cat was… — Muhammad Ali Copy Share Image
She turned and looked at him. "Ducks?" she said again. A smile tugged the edge of his mouth. "I hate ducks. Don't… — Cassandra Clare Copy Share Image
“Don’t wait until you have all your ducks in a row, because by the time you get started some of those ducks… — Kate Toon Copy Share Image
Sometimes I'll go by and there are a couple of swans, the next day it's a few ducks. I'd like to stop… — Graeme Le Saux Copy Share Image
Let’s just say I understand betrayal. And having been where he is, I know the explosion to come. Trust me. ‘Duck’ won’t… — Sherrilyn Kenyon Copy Share Image
I never duck out of a fight; I don't care what the hell the odds are, and I'm rough at times, but… — Jack Kirby Copy Share Image
For hours, in fall days, I watched the ducks cunningly tack and veer and hold the middle of the pond, far from… — Henry David Thoreau Copy Share Image
In the military it was camouflage for the desert or the winter. And now it's the duck hunting colors - I think… — Si Robertson Copy Share Image
I grew up in a small holding in Staffordshire near Tamworth, and we had a few ponies and chickens, ducks and dogs… — Dorian Yates Copy Share Image
The electro scene is all over the clubs now: groups like Duck Sauce, Empire of the Sun, even MGMT. But I get… — Fergie Copy Share Image
“Wooden scrabble letters offer a whole forest of literature, tiled down for easy shower installment. If you limit your use to only… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
I wonder how many men, hiding their youngness, rise as I do, Saturday mornings, filled with the hope that Bugs Bunny, Yosemite… — Ray Bradbury Copy Share Image
The paper does not provide the exact number of penises eaten by ducks, but the author says there have been enough over… — Mary Roach Copy Share Image
In 1932, lame duck president Herbert Hoover was so desperate to remain in the White House that he dressed up as Eleanor… — Johnny Carson Copy Share Image
Today, we are shapers of the world of tomorrow. That is plain truth. There is no way we can duck the responsibility,… — Walt Disney Copy Share Image
In politics, Bugs Bunny always beats Daffy Duck. Daffy's always going berserk, jumping up and down, yelling. Bugs's got that sly smile,… — Jeff Greenfield Copy Share Image
